Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A very personal IF post

CanI talk to you girls about something REALLY personal? It is about SE.X...... and isn'tsomething I have eventalked tomy closest friends about.....

I had called the clinic I LOVE, who has an RE that an friend of a friend used and is my top runner for an RE clinic,and spoke to them about IF and costs and general things and the nurse was talking tomeabout pricesand she mentionedthat they do very few TIcycles because success rates are so much higher with IUIs. This blew me away, not because I thought it was crazy but because I thoughtit is a great idea. Plus when youthink of it adding an IUI isn't all that much more exspensive and it doubles our chances a cycle.

However as pointed out to me it means our child will truely be created with strangers in the room and not in the privacy of our own home. When A, a fellow t-ttcer, brought this to my attention I thought maybe she was right and we should try TI for a cycle or two. Give our bodies a chance at creating a child just the two of us.

That was a week ago, and today I decided that I think I will push for the IUIs. It isn't that I wouldn't LOVE to get pg 'the old fashioned way" but I realized this week that I really enjoy se.x so much more when it isn't about baby making. In fact I LOVE se.x with my husband when it isn't about baby making. See, when we BD (baby dance= type of sex used to make a baby) it is about my hips, my CM, how close to my cirvix he is when he comes and all the other crap that makes it no fun. When we can have fun se.x it is about m.ulitple orgasm.s, I can be on top and the last thing I am worried about is where his peni.s is when he comes. So after talking with R about IUIs right off the bat we are on the same page. For him it was more about money and chance of success but hell if we are on the same page who am I to quible over how we both got there.


Jen said...

I think that you made the right choice. In the end all that matters is a healthy baby to love and hold. When that baby is in your arms you won't remember that there were strangers in the room when he/she was conceived!!! Best of Luck!

-Row said...

My friends got pregnant on their first IUI...they BD'd the day of and the day after...and honestly, they'll never ever know if it was the IUI or them that created that beautiful baby. I think it's a great idea to BD after an can always say it was your doing ;)
But IUI is such a higher %, I'd go with it too. I think we will after our first TI cycle. Good luck!

Diana said...

Good luck!!!! Hoping, hoping, hoping that iui#1 is the ONE!

Busted said...

I think you made the righ decision. I'm totally ok that neither DH or I were in the room when our babies were conceived! Haha.

Trish said...

Honestly, I never really had the hang up about not creating a baby by coming together. I'm not sure why. I hated that we had to trek to the office so often but that was more for tests & checks etc etc.

And honestly, after a year of TTC and a diagnosis.. honestly- the forced sex was a serious pain in the ass. I almost never got a orgasm from our baby making sex. As you said, it's about position, and HIM than me. God forbid I got tired or my hips hurt or whatnot. It was terrible. But then God forbid you seem like you're not TOTALLY into it because you dont' want to interfere with him finishing properly.

And Oh my word.. if HE were TOO TIRED to do it on the right day.. on THE day.. tears, anxiety.. arguing. So sexy.

The IUIs were a blessing. To be able to have sex when we wanted. Whatever kind of sex we wanted. Finishing when & how we wanted. Such a relief. Yes, we still tried to have sex 2 days before the IUIs and the night of. But forced sex twice was better than it was before. And if it didn't happen it wasn't the end of the world.