Tuesday, January 8, 2008

A vent about a local BFP

I want to fess up to something. My last post was inspired by a few things on thenest and at a nest GTG. First let me say that I feel very blessed to have quite a few local t-ttcer that can relate to me and who have provided me lots of support. However sometime the nest can be a source of pain too.

Last week on my local board there was another BFP post. They have been happening about once a week at this point so I am not surprised at all. However this person's scream name floored me "finally BFP". I wanted to scream at her "I sure as hell hope you have been trying for more than 6 months" and later found out that yes she has been trying for longer than 6 months and is a regular on the t-ttc board as well. That made me feel better but I also felt kinda crummy for being upset about it all in the first place. Of course as we all know IF sucks and can make you feel some strong emotions at times.

Fast forward to this weekend. I was at a LARGE local nest GTG about 35 people. I had three glasses of wine and then switched to bottled water. As soon as I switched to bottled water I noticed a few people eyeing my water. "great" I thought, now I am going to get them asking if I am pg. Well sure enough through the night two people asked me about us trying. I told them the truth. I Ovulated last week so we will see. They all know about our trouble and have been very supportive.

Well today 'finally BFP' is back on the local board giving them clues to who she is. AND if I didn't know better I would think it was me, all the clues fit me. Uggggg. This means in two weeks when she decides to 'revel' herself everyone will be putting in bets that it is me. Which wouldn't hurt if it were me, but it isn't and since I am sure this cycle is a bust, the whole thing is going to hurt like a tooth being pulled without Novocaine.

Here is my other grip. WHY would you tell the nest if you didn't want everyone to know???? If you haven't told your family yet then why tell a bunch of people on the Internet and yet not tell them who you really are? I mean seriously, I have never seen a t-ttcer do this and many of them have reason to fear a m/c!

I just hate this because I know it will hurt like hell when people guess it is me.

Oh and for future reference: I will tell the nest when I get my BFP using the name I have ALWAYS posted under.

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