Saturday, March 28, 2009

Mommy's Day

When I woke up this AM Riley and R informed me that today was Mommy's Day. I told them that it wasn't till May but then they informed me that this was Mommy's day not Mother's day. No difference except I didn't get a card or flowers and no one but us was celebrating it today.

First R let me sleep in while he took care of Riley. Riley has regressed and won't take a bottle so I had to feed him but I was able to go back to sleep. I ended up sleeping till 9am when I smelled the food. R had made me breakfast and was going to bring it to me in bed! We had pancakes which were YUMMY! We have pancakes almost every Saturday morning, it is kinda our thing.

Then after feeding and getting dressed we went to our local outside mall for lunch. Riley feel asleep in the car, I love when that happens! and when we got there we scored an awesome parking spot right across from where I wanted to eat! That made me REALLY happy. Lunch was great and Riley slept through it so it was almost like having a DATE! I cherish his long naps, especially when they are during meal time. There is nothing like adult conversation during a meal to keep a marriage alive, don't get me wrong the other kind of adult time is great but conversation is what makes a marriage alive.

After that we walked around for a long time, about 5 hours, some of it in the sling, some of it in the stroller. We didn't buy much, a new hat for Riley because the sun was in his eyes a lot as we walked, and then some frozen yogurt for the adults. It was a great day! I can't wait for the next one!

How do you find the house of new parents?

You look for the house with its keys left in the door overnight.
You look for the house with all the front windows open (done the same night as the keys left in the door).
Follow a couple home who both have dark circles under their eyes, but the baby is well rested.
Follow a man with spit up on ALL of his work shirts.
Look for the house getting lots of orders from
Follow the woman home from the grocery store who sways in line but has no child in her arms.
Bring up poop and if the person isn't disgusted and can talk about it for more than 5 minutes you have found a new parent.

Friday, March 27, 2009

My Wish For Him

I have always been the king of person who wishes on stars, takes forever blowing out the candles on her birthday cake because I am searching for just the right wish for the next year, and closes her eyes when the clock shows the same number all in a row like 11:11 so I can make a wishes till the minute runs out. In the last three days Riley has lost three eyelashes, and I found the perfect wish for him:

May your life be long, healthy and full of happiness.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Guess how big Riley is!

15 pounds 10.8 oz

We went to the Dr yesterday because he was pulling on his ear and had a very slight fever 99.3. My mom and I both thought it was an ear infection but thankfully it was not. When they weighed him I nearly fainted. No wonder my back and arms get tired from holding him all the time. He is a moose! Dr Wonderful isn't worried though, he says he is well with in normal range for his age.

A Day with Baby

I get asked all the time: "what do you do all day?". I am sure they imagine me sitting on the couch eating bon-bons while watching soaps or something, but truth be told being a stay at home mom is keeping me quite busy. Here is an "average" day for us.

7:30 Riley wakes up, I get him changed and then get him feed
8:00 Mommies turn to get dressed and then eat. Riley lays in his boppy and does tummy time while I get dressed and then into his bouncer in the kitchen while I eat.
8:25 Get online to check mail, update blog, or visit the nest. Talk to Riley about what ever I am doing. He smiles and love to hear about other babies, loves pictures of his "friends" even more.
8:45 BABY YOGA! Riley loves this and it really helps his digestion.
9:00 Another change this one is poopy thank you baby yoga, feed and the swaddle so Riley can take a nap.
10 awake, diaper change, outfit change
10:20 Feeding again, then when burping Riley spits up meal and now we both need new outfits.
10:40 Get ready to take a walk to store: make list, pack bag, get stroller and put my shoes on.
11 Finally leave house! Walk to store (about 4-5 blocks) go shopping, talk to Riley about prices and what we will be having for dinner.
11:30 Leave store and Riley falls asleep on the first block home. Ya!
11:45 Get home, bring Riley upstairs to nap in room, and then unpack bags.
11:55 Riley is still asleep now I get some "me time" also known as taking a nap, blogging, talking on phone, a little TV or what ever else will keep me sane and happy.
12:45 Time to get some things done around the house: feed cats, laundry, put away some toys, then eat.
1p Riley woke up! Can you guess what we do next?.... yup! Change diaper and feed him, plus reflux meds.
1:20 Riley in swing while I; unload dishwasher from am, wipe up kitchen, take out trash, clean cat litter and refill boxes
2 Riley has floor time on my lap while I fold laundry, and then has more floor time while I put it away, including some more tummy time.
2:30 Snuggle time, we sing songs and he sits on my lap, we just enjoy 'playing' together without any toys.
2:45 diaper change, feed, swaddle
3 asleep for another nap (we hope, this one sometimes doesn't happen)I clean a little more and then turn on the TV
345 wake up :( but grandma comes over with cousins :)
400 They leave we play peak a boo and patty cake as well as other games then put away more laundry.
4:45 Rubbing eyes so we change diaper and try to go to sleep.... no luck and he fusses in my arms till...
5:25 Daddy walks in the house, I hand of Riley for a much needed 5 minute break
5:30 Try feeding to sleep again. Success! He is asleep.
6: Success is short lived Riley is up again. :( Daddy takes Riley for a while. He cares for him while we chat
6:45 More fussing, feed for just two minutes and he is asleep! But will he stay down?...... yes! We relax and have dinner.
7:25 He wakes up. This time daddy gets to do the diaper change and play with him for a while!
7:40 Break out the boobie it is feeding time again. Then back to Daddy for awhile.
8:30 Feed and then bath
9:10 Bed time! Feed to sleep and put down in clean diaper and with sleeper on and swaddled.

So next time you feel the need to ask me or any stay-at-home mom what they do all day please don't we are to busy to replay our very busy days for you.

Sunday, March 22, 2009


We are doing our taxes today while my mom takes Riley for some grandma time. I hate doing our taxes but the good news is that we are getting money back from the state and feds. We live in CA and I told R that maybe we should just give our state refund back, after all CA is in a huge financial mess at the moment. R laughed when I said that, he doesn't really believe in government while I am a true democrat leaning toward socialist.

The weird part for us about taxes is doing the medical part. We spent a lot of money on medical this year: infertility treatment, couples communication course/therapy, acupuncture, medications, trying to get Riley to turn via chiropractic care, and then of course his birth. It all adds up to more than I care to admit and yet we are so lucky because in truth it really isn't all that much money. Yes it is above 7% of our income but it is still below 14% of it. It could have been so much worse, if we hadn't gotten pg that first cycle of IUI and I am not sure we could have afforded much more in treatment costs. Thank God for that first cycle working, thank you God for my son, I love him more than I ever knew I could love a person.

Friday, March 20, 2009

My wish list

R asked me the other day what was left on my wish list big and small for being a mom, and as the devilish grin spread across my face he then added "WITH IN REASON". With him in mind I am creating this list of thing I would love to have for Riley.

First on the list:
A House! This would fall under not reasonable at the moment, although (shhh don't tell) it might actually happen this year! Here is a house I really love in our area:

The only other big item on my list is a new stroller. I still love the bugaboo but both of us aren't willing to spend 900 on a stroller, thus the Bumbleride Flyer will be my new wheels when it is time to upgrade.

And then there are the books I want. I love Todd Parr books we have the It's Okay book but I really want the Family book and Daddy Book, both break gender stereo types and the family book includes same sex couples. I also want And Tango makes Three. It is a cute little book about two male penguins who "adopt" a baby penguin and it is based off a true story. I am also on the look out for more books focused on Daddies like Papa Please Bring Me the Moon, and Daddy Hugs.

Also to make our days go a little faster I would love the Baby Yoga videos, not for Riley to watch but for us to follow along with when we do baby yoga.

Lastly some Raffi music would be great. I grew up on the stuff and look forward to singing songs like Baby Beluga with him when he gets older.


No I am not pg again! But while pg with Riley I did dream a lot of twins as you may recal. My twins were always girls in my dreams and post pg they have continued.

As a teen and young adult I was a nanny for many sets of twins so caring for them isn't anything new to me. Many mom's have commented to me that I would do well with twins of my own, and I must admit to being a little disappointed when Riley was a singleton but I also knew R only wants one at a time.

When we spent time with Amber and her boys early this week, R took care of Riley and I helped her with her boys. They are great boys by the way and she is an amazing twin mom. I often have said that God picks out twin mom's by hand because not everyone can be on, I still believe this (although I am questioning his judgment of Octomom), Amber is good proof of this theory as well.

After spending time with her though it has me questioning if twins should be in our future. Of course if we were blessed with them I would be thrilled but I think I may not daydreaming about them any time soon. The ligistics of taking care of two just hit me really hard. Two babies to breastfeed when feeding just one has been very hard. How do you hold and calm two babies? Keeping pacies in their mouths when they are screaming. Not to mention double the laundry, and diapers that I do now. Yes twin mommies are living angels, and I don't think I am cut out for that job.

Vacation Recap

R being off was wonderful! We had such a good time and he got to spend lots of time learning what Riley is like during the day. It was very nice spending this time as a family. R also used this time to give me a break and I slept in almost every morning.

Sunday my day with the girls went very well. I had a blast having lunch with some great friends and babies. Then that night Shan and Holly watched Riley for me and R. We just did dinner out and Riley did great, took a bottle for them like a champ. And of course they were great with him too. He only fussed when he was hungry and needed to be changed because of a poop.

Monday we headed up to wine country, and had a great time. At lunch we had awful service, and I mean down right BAD service at a place we have ate at many times before. We won't be going back there. Despite that we had a great trip and Riley did just fine with all the driving. It makes me feel better having done this because this summer we might be heading to LA which is a long drive for a little guy like him. My favorite part of the day was the olive oil tasting and buying Riley some new books at a book store.

Tuesday we had brunch with some of R's exstended family. Pop's brother, sister in law and mother meet Riley for the first time. It was nice to see them. Riley was a doll the whole meal which was nice. It was particularly nice because Pop isn'r great about showing emotion and Cory (his SIL) spilled the beans that he just lights up when he talks about Riley. It was nice to hear that, because we knew he loves Riley but sometimes it is nice to have proof. Then we met a good friend Amber and her boys for the first time. Amber and I had been chating on line and reading each other's blogs for a while. We also both had our boys in December at 36 weeks so we have a lot in common. I look forward to us hanging out more in the future because Riley is going to need some friends his age and I can always use more friends too!

Wednesday R and I spent the day hanging out with Riley. He slept through lunch which gave us a 2nd date for the week. We talked politics and education, two hot topics we highly disagree on, and had some great heated banter. Then we walked around town until all three of us needed a nap. It was a great day, and the perfect end to a wonderful five days off for R.

STTN Again! And our SIp and See @ R's work

Not last night but Wednesday night he slept 9.5 hours. Yes you read that right NINE and a HALF hours. I must have woke up 5 times thinking "OMG is he awake and I just didn't hear him?" only to find out Nope! He is still sleeping. R and I took the time to have some adult time.... lots of adult time. We both feel better and I think it is safe to say my sex drive is back in a BIG way.

Of course then yesterday was awful. They are doing foundation work on our building and it was very noisy, meaning Riley doesn't nap well. We had a "sip and see" at R's work that afternoon and he napped on the way there, then again before dinner then on the way home that night. We got home at 8pm and he woke up as soon as the car stopped. We tried to get him back down after nursing but to no avail and it was 11pm before he was asleep again. Needless to say that was HARD.

The sip and see was really nice. His co-workers gave us some very nice things and they ooohhhed and awed over Riley the whole time. Riley was a very good boy for everyone but they overstimulated him and I paied for it, with sleep. I am sure tonight will go better, we are already doing better about naps today.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Most wonderful sound in the World

What is the best way to be woken up in the morning? I used to think it was with a back rub but this weekend when R let me sleep in I learned the best thing to wake up to is the sound of your little guy laughing with his daddy. I think it might have even topped the sound of hearing his heartbeat for the first time. Riley was just laughing up a storm in the way only R can make him laugh. In that moment I realized how trivial my c-section and IF journey is in the large picture and remembered why I went through it in order to get here. It is a big stepping stone for me, my emotional wounds healed a little quicker today because of it.


Oh my lord I didn't think last night when we put him down at 8:30 he would sleep that long but he did! He slept through the night till 5 am. That is 8.5 hours of sleep in a row! Amazing for my little guy. Before this his longest stretch had been 7 hours and 15 minutes, and while our pedi and many others will call anything over 5 hours STTN, I am a believer that STTN = at least 8 hours in a row. I am so happy this day has come, and to make it even better R let me go back to sleep when they got up for the day at 7:30, making me a well rested woman. Of course I am fully aware that just because he STTN tonight doesn't mean he will do it again tonight, but it is nice to know he CAN do it. I am so proud of my little guy!

Saturday, March 14, 2009


The economy sucks right now, we all know that. After two cycles of lay offs R's work decided to do manitory 5 days vacation time in lue of even more layoff. My reaction WOOO HOOOOO! When ever R takes vacation work always calls him but this weekend his cell phone is OFF and will be off till Thursday morning when he goes back in.

Given that his paternity leave got cut short by two weeks and that he worked from home 15 hours the week after I gave birth, this vacation is a much needed one. Our plans are mostly to relax and just hang out. Today though we cleaned the house, and I mean CLEANED. We still have a lot to do but the house is starting to look like less of a disaster zone.

Here are our plans for the rest of his time off: Tomorrow, R is hanging out with the guy and I am going into the city with friends, then we are having a date night will Shan and Holly watch Riley. It will be his first adventure with "baby sitters" that aren't family. Holly and Shan are over qualified for the job. They both work in Child Care centers, have been infant toddler lead teachers and Shan has her degree in Child Development and Holly is working on hers. Hell they are more qualified than ME to watch him!

Monday we are headed up to wine country for some tasting, yummy! And some really great fudge at my favorite fudge shop. We will have a picnic lunch and then indulge in something fancy for dinner after a day of shopping and exploring the area.

Tuesday we hare having brunch with family who has never met Riley and Poppop. Then going to meet a blogger friend and her twin boys for the first time. I am really looking forward to seeing her and the boys since they are just a week or two older than Riley.

His last day of vacation, Wednesday is still free and I think we may spend the day at home just being a family of three and enjoying it. I might try to get R to do some family pictures but I have a feeling he won't go for it.

I have been waiting for this week since it was planned two months ago. Bring on the FUN!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Our Girls

Before Riley was born we worried and talked a lot about our two cats and the impact of this lifestyle change on them. Gemma has a tendency to pee on the carpet when pissed at us, which happens any time we are gone overnight, forget to do the cat litter for a few days, and an array of other things that bug her. Bella has never been fond of children, she runs and hides from them. This worried us because she is my baby and a very needy baby at that. While we have had our ups and downs with them for the most part things are going well.

One night Bella did try to sleep on Riley's feet/legs which gave me a mild heart attack and caused some sleepless nights for a while as well as her being banished from our room. But I learned to trust her again and she quickly learned the bassinet was not for her.

Gemma on the other hand is his watch dog. When we first got him home any time he cried she ran to see what the issue was. Then she would stare at me as if to ask "why the hell aren't you fixing it mom?" She still does this but has learned that R and I are quite on top of it most of the time. The other night Riley was screaming because bath time was over and he was getting changed and his meds. R was taking care of it and I was doing something else. She came up to be and head butted my legs. I think she wanted me to go help him. She is defiantly going to be his protector as he gets bigger.

Anytime Riley is getting fed Bella tries to climb onto the boppy with him to snuggle with us. It is cute but also rather annoying at his 4 am feeding.

Both girls love everything baby related, the boppy is both of their favorites, with the bouncy seat a close second. We have had to put tin foil in the crib and on the changing table when not in use to keep them off of both. They also like to sleep on the glidder but at this point I could care less. He doesn't sit in it only I do and it seems petty to try and keep them out of it.

We won't be getting rid of our girls any time soon. They are truely a part of the family and we have struck a nice balance with them now.

Bella wanted her photo taken too!

Gemma getting some tummy time on the play mat:

Gemma napping with Riley:

My three babies laying together:

Thursday, March 12, 2009

A complement can go a long way

So often people comment that R is a good father, and I must completely agree he is an amazing dad. He really does co-parent with me and I really appreciate that. It is rare though for people to comment on me as a mother, yes I know I am a good mom to Riley but that doesn't mean it isn't nice to hear it sometimes. I find in our society we are all to quick to praise fathers and don't praise mothers nearly as much. We also hold moms to a higher standard than fathers but that isn't the point here.

Yesterday my mother in law called, I try to call her once a week to check in and tell her the newest things going on in Riley's life but I had missed a week so she called us. After telling her about Riley finding his hands and about our most recent trip to do baby yoga, she told me that she thinks R and I are doing a wonderful job raising Riley. That she knows the reason R is so good with Riley is because he has me to watch and copy and that I am a wonderful mother. She also appreciates all I do to keep her as involved as she can be with Riley's life.

This means so much to me, we haven't always had the best relationship but I do try very hard to keep her in the loop with everything Riley is doing and what is going on in our lives. It is nice to know my efforts are both recognized and appreciated. I work really hard at trying to be a good mom to Riley so it is nice to know my efforts are paying off and that others think I am doing a good job.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Exstended Breastfeeding

This weekend's topic of conversation seemed to be my boobs. Part of that is because last week I had some supply issues causing us to even question if I could continue to breastfeed. Thankfully due to a hospital grade pump and beer plus a three day ban on anything other than my nipples in Riley's mouth my supply is back up and we are able to continue breastfeeding.

But it was also the topic of conversation because R and I are talking about exstened breastfeeding. We always knew I would breastfeed exclusively (if able) to 6 months then till a year maybe even 18 months and as hard as breastfeeding has been, I love it. The bond is amazing, Riley smiles every time he wakes up as if to say "Hello food!" I can't go around the house topless because Riley immediately begins to cry in the hopes of being feed. He loves it and so do I.

To be clear I would never force him to continue to breastfeed beyond a year, but given our vaccination schedule R and I think exstended breastfeeding could be really good for our family.

But there are also many reasons it might not be such a great idea. There is a huge social stigma around breastfeeding beyond 18 months. In fact in just telling two of my best friends that we were considering breastfeeding till age two, one of them freaked a little on me. (Don't judge or bad mouth her though she does read this blog!) R's family is one more reason. His dad thus far has flat out refused to be in the room with me while I breastfeed, even when I use a cover. And then there is the issue that neither R nor I know anyone who has done this before and we are not the trend setting kind of people. We like to know about the bumps in the road and how to handle them.

We have time to decide if this is really something we want to do but if it is something we are going to do then I would like to stop calling it boobie feeding with Riley and start deciding on a different name. This way when he is two and wants the breast in the middle of the store I am not mortified and passed judgment apon when he screams "boobie" with tears coming down his face.

Any of you readers breastfeed beyond 18 months? If so email me at

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dear Riley,

Dear Riley,

Today you are three months old, and what a joyful time the last three months have been. You have grown so much in that time and so have I. In your eyes I have found the strength to get up in the middle of the night despite being dog tiered. Found reasons to smile when I wanted to cry and learned that happiness can be always found in your smile.

Your favorite things to do these last three months are to sleep, in my arms or Daddy's even grandma's will do when you don't feel well. You love baby yoga which I am thankful for because it helps you poop and get the gas out. You also love music time although the class seems to put you to sleep you love to be sang to in the mornings, especially "it's bitsy spider" or anything with hand movements. You also love to be told stories something Daddy is very good at, with mommy your prefer books with pictures. Our favorite ones are Silly Sally, Moo BAA La La La and Mommy Loves. You also love bath time, and I am so excited that when it gets warmer we can all go swimming.

Your favorite time of day is when Daddy gets home, when you see him you often giggle and always smile at him, and he always returns the favor telling you how much he missed us during his day at work.

We have also had our ups and downs, with Daddy only getting a week off after your birth rather than three, and breastfeeding having lots of downs that neither of us expected. But we get through each day thankful for each other, Daddy and I happy to have you here with us. Thankful for your smiles.

Your personality has grown so much and while you are stubborn like me you have a happy demeanor, most of the time. But beware if you don't get what you want you let it be known, most of the time though I have at least three minutes before breakdown occurs. People stop me on the street to tell me how lucky I am to have such a good baby, and it is true: you and I are great travelers together.

I don't always get all the signs right. I commonly mistake your tired cry for a feeding cry and have been known to overstimulate you some times. I always pay for it when it happens but a tight swaddle and bouncing motion with shushing and giving you a paci does the trick to get you to either calm down or sleep.

You have taught your daddy and I so much:
that we are a strong team
that there is a reason sleep deprivation is an effective tourcher technique
that we could love someone more than we love each other
that our relationship could get stronger each day

Mommy's favorite time of day is in the evening when we do bath and our bedtime routine.

Your bed time routine looks something like this:
play with daddy,
dressed for bed and meds
books (as long as you aren't screaming for the boobie)
then swaddled and boobie feeding

I will leave you with our favorite song to sing. I call it the "I love Riley" song, and in it I list every little thing I love about you.
I love you Riley.
I love your double chin,
I love your chubby checks,
I love your strong arms.
I love you Riley.

I love your pouting lips,
I love your blue eyes,
I love your currlie ear,
I love you Riley.

I love your knobie knees,
I love your tiny toes,
I love your redish hair,
I love you Riley!

Your Mommy,