Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Sleep Deprivation

Just because I stooped posting about it doesn't mean it isn't continuing to happen. Sleep is still an issue for us, a normal night includes him waking up about 5-7 times each for about 20-30minutes. Last week he started moving up the wake up time. UGG! We tried everything, car rides, ignoring him till he was crying, moving up bedtime but nothing worked. Then this AM he slept till 6 am. It was bliss!

We are currently working on unswaddling, and last night I am proud to say he slept unswaddled all night long. This is a huge accomplishment for us. He also only woke up 3 times, obviously I would love for this trend to continue but we will see. We have introduced a lovie for him at night and he seems to find comfort in them, he won't put himself back to sleep but at least they help.

I have found that if you really want to stress out a relationship, don't let the people sleep. I have been awful to R the last few weeks and just sick and tired of everything he does, not because it is all that annoying but because when you are sleep deprived for long periods of time you are bound to get wound a little tight.

But all that did lead to us having some good talks about household jobs and Riley's care. And now things are a little more even in the chores department. And he is getting better about giving me time to myself. Which now includes sleeping in at least once if not twice a week! It is just an extra 2 hours but those 2 hours are heaven!

I have no idea when the sleep deprivation will stop, but for now we are managing. I would love it if 3 times a night became the new norm, I know that sounds crazy since lots of 7 month old STTN but at this point 3 times a night sounds like heaven.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Suplementation ?

Every month for 7 months now my supply drops and then BOOM me period shows. This month it was a double wammy because she was late and I had gotten my hopes up that I was pg. Stupid me!

Every time she shows it is a battle of will to keep my supply going, I eat oatmeal and eggs for breakfast, double my protien intake and drink enough water to fill a swimming pool. Sometimes we even rent a hospital grade pump because while my PIS is great it is not any where close to a hospital grade pump. This month when she came R and I had a talk, I don't want to rent a pump again I told him. I just want to see what happens with my supply.

And so that is what we are doing. A few outcomes are possable:
a) my supply bounces back just fine
b) my supply takes a hit and we do some suplementing but overtime it comes back and we just supplement when my period shows up
c) we supplement all the time because my suply doesn't come back
d) We supplement now and then wean (not what I want to do)

I feel okay about a and b but not c and d makes me very sad, but at the same time I know I can't continue to be tied to my pump. I feel like I have no life when I am pumping after every meal and that is what it takes for me to regain my supply sometimes. I just don't want to keep doing that. Ofcourse if it looks likd d is going to happen then I will be renting that hospital pump. As ready as I am to not be tied to nursing, I am not ready to give up the benifits for my son.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Funny Things this Week

It has been a bad day. Just a bad day in general so I want to take a momment to remember the funny or just feel good momments of this week.

Tuesday: Leaving in the morning to visit Auntie Shannon, R asked me "you got everything you need" I responded with "no" and he asked me what I forgot and I told him "I won't know that till I need it"

Today: Walking into Day One "Long time," says the worker there "what can I help you with" and when I tell her I am there for the class she says "no you aren't" I tell her I pre-paid and she says "you aren't on my list." Then I tell her " Your list has last weeks date on it, I want to go to the class for today."

Just now: This is my conversation wth DH.
Him: "What is for dinner?" Me: "In and out" Him: ......okay..... (realizing this means he needs to pick it up because he works right by the closest one, and if he is smart wondering if I am pg)


Wednesday, July 15, 2009


You would never know it by looking at my kid but he really hates to eat. What other kid reverse cycle eats (ie takes most of he feeds at night) and won't open up his mouth to eat. Yet Riley is still in the 75th % for weight, that is some darn good boobie juice! A week ago Sunday we had a break through, he opened his mouth for the avacado, then the sweet potatoes and then a few day later for the rice cereal. However get the applesauce anywhere near him and "Oh hell no" he seems to say shaking his head. He eats better when he isn't in his high chair or if we are out of the house, but no matter where we are the applesause is a no, do not pass go, do not collect 100 dollars. I am told that this phase will pass, even though no one can tell me when, and that it is the plight of many reflux mommies and daddies. For lunch I some times try to sweeten him up with showtunes, after all he is my kid and in the worst of moods singing seems to be the only thing to calm him down and brigten his day. So as I belted out "food gourious food" and I came to this realization: He might have R's looks but this is SO my kid! He has my personality all the way. When he wants something he wants it now and he wants thigs done his way. He likes to have all the control and do nust about everything himself. It is likely his first words will be "No, I do it!". We have in the last week had not one but TWO new feeding firsts. It can't be described so I will just share a pic:

And then he learned to feed himself! I would share the video but I can't figure out how to get it to upload. Can someone help me?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Grandma G's Visit

R's mom visited us last week and we all had a good time. She is just smitten with Riley, and he loved her too. When he first saw her he did cry a little he must have been wondering who the smiling blond was because up until this point in his life all the blondes he knows (is R's step mother) have perpetual scouwls. But he quickly adjusted to her and by the end of the week he was bouncing on her leg like he had know her for years.

R took 4 days off while she was here, one was a vacation day for the company and the other three he used were just regular vacation days. It was so nice having him home for that long, even if things did fall apart at his work. Riley really loved all the attention too. I don't think he was left along for longer than 5 seconds the whole visit.

On the 4th R's mom's side of the family had a big GTG which was fun, unless you were R who hated the whole thing. He doesn't get along with her family. Riley liked all the attention and was his normal smilie self. Everyone wanted to hold him but R and I had agreed before hand that no one but us would be holding him. Mean? Sure but only R and I are the ones who would have had to deal with an over stimulated baby if we had let him be passed around. Thankfully most people understood.

For the rest of the visit we mostly just hung out at home or did lunch out. We all had a good time and it was sweet to watch Riley interact with his other Grandma.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Thank You Note

Dear Shannon and Holly,

I don't know that I could ever find the words to properly thank you for all that you do for my family. I know that I am a better mother thanks to having you as friends. I have never been one to be able to function on such little sleep, but thanks to you guys I can make it through knowing there is a light at the end of my sleepless tunnel, and that you guys will take him for a night when things get too hard. I have often had parents tell me that they couldn't have raised such wonderful kids without me as the nanny. I always thought they were exadurating but now I see how far a helping hand can go.

I know there are people who can and do raise children on thier own, but I am so thankful to not have to be one of them. You bring so much more to Riley's life than just more sleep for his parents. You also bring a new love, a new smiling face and people he can count on when he needs someone other than a mommy or daddy. I look forward to him growing up and having you two to turn to. I know you will always do what is best for him and that puts my mind at ease.

Thank you for everything that you do for us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I don't know that I will ever be able to repay you for the things you have done for us but I will try.

Love Always,

Angelina Jolie makes it look too easy

R comented to me the other night that I give him mixed signals about BFing. That one minute I am talking about how beautiful it is and the next threatining not to nurse number 2. And he is right I do have a very love hate relationship with breastfeeding but given our situation I think that is normal.

When Riley was first born I LOVED to bf him. It was a highlight of my day and I waxed poeticly to anyone who would listen that every woman should at least try it and after trying it they would have no choice but to stick with it because it is suck a beautiful thing. Then as we all know Riley's refulx got worse, he then hit a reverse cycle eating pattern and nothing has been the same sense. That said there are moments I still love it, moments where he caresses my breast or latches on himself and is a good feeder that I remember why I love it so much.

The part I still hate about bfing is that Riley won't take a bottle, or at least he won't take it from anyone other than his Aunts. We recently gave up the bottle in hopes of using a sippy cup. It for the most part works but I still find my self mostly attached to the little guy. R has yet to be able to give him a full feeding, even though my mom was able to. This means any time I get free so does R, which would be fine if it weren't that he also gets other free time too. The scale definatly tips in his favor even if he fails to see it that way.

I am sure my love hate relationship is bound to continue for a while longer. After all I have made it this far and it would suck to give formula now. I am still playing with the idea of exstended breastfeeding but I think Riley will be fully weaned by 18 months, that takes us through flu season and will allow us to time it right with a developmental age where self weaning or child lead weaning is more common.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Bad Mommy/ Dear Riley

In all the excitement of this week I forgot to write my 7 month letter on the 7th. So here it is a few days late.

Dear Riley,

Every day I love you more and more, you learn a new task and my heart expands even more. I am not sure how much bigger it can get but I am sure it will continue to expand.

You are growing into such a sweet smiling social little boy. You smile at strangers and are happy letting them cue over you, until one of them touches you and then, watch out stranger cause you scream. You must sense me tensing up because I do hate it when strangers touch you. When I introduce you to new people it only takes a few moments for you to warm up. This is nice and it makes social events easier for me.

Daddy and I still take you everywhere with us. Thankfully you are a good little boy and are happy in my arms no matter where we are, baby wearing also makes this so much easier.

These days we are spending lots of time on the floor. Your favorite toys are the stacking blocks, roar and woof (your lovies) and your three elephants; rino, greenie, and plush. We even have a song for Greenie the green elephant, about her driving her prius and composting too. I think daddy and I like the song more than you do.

Oh my do you love to be sang to. Your favorites at them moment are You are my Sunshine and Row Row Row Your Boat, but you also love U2, you must have my musical tastes.

We have settled into somewhat of a routine again at least during the day but your night sleep is still wacky. I wish i could say it was getting better. Dr Wonderful seems to think CIO is the answer or that at least I should stop feeding you at night but I can't stand to listen to you cry. I am just hoping they peater down on their own again. We have had a few nights of only 2 wakings recently, I love those nights! I have confidence you will STTN on your own when you are ready.

You have finally meet all your cousins and Aunts. You loved seeing them and they all loved you so much. Aunt Tracy and cousin Melody fought over holding you the whole time they were with you. Aunt Sheila loved getting on the floor and playing with you too while Uncle Peter watched. It is obvious you are loved by everyone, and why wouldn't they love you? you are the best baby in the world after all!

I am enjoying our play time so much these days, you interaction level is great and you have some obvious likes and dislikes. You whine when you don't get your way or don't like something. I know this is a normal 7 month thing but I really hate it. I look forward to you outgrowing that! But play time really has been fun. you sit on your own and hand me toys. You love it when we play with the sit and spin toy Grandma D got you. We just have a blast together.

Grandma G recently spent a week with us. You loved having her here and it made me wish she lived closer. You loved that she let you untie her shoe laces over and over again, something mommy and daddy don't let you do. And you also loved bouncing on her knee and standing up in her arms. She thought you were the best baby ever and loved making you laugh and smile.

This month you learned:
to roll!
to get onto your tummy from a sitting position
to feed yourself!

I am looking forward to what the next month brings. Will you crawl? You have been trying to army crawl. Will you finally get a tooth, after all you have been teething since you were 4 months old? Or will it be something I haven't seen coming? I look forward to finding out.