Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What is in a Name?

As you know we aren't sharring Roo's name till he is here. Our reasoning behind this is simple 1) I don't want to hear everyone's opinion. 2) I think it will be fun for R to have something exciting to share with family once he is born.

But I also want to put his name up on the wall. I have a spot picked out that is perfect and while I really fell in love with letters from Etsy, at 20 dollars each that was kinda a budget breaker, think over 100 dollars. So I am doing it myself.

I got the steps from a fellow blogger and got to work. The project was fairly easy and the total cost was 20 dollars. Obviously I can't share the whole finished project yet but here is a single letter through the proccess.

And a funny story just to show how wierd people can get about not sharring his name:

I was at Joann's picking out letters to go on the wall which would make up Roo's name, when a lady comes up to me and starts asking me how far along I am and such. I have two different types of letters spelling out his name on the floor since I am trying to decide which font to use. She continues to talk to me about her children (she is about my mom's age) and then asks if we have a name picked out. I told her "Yes but we aren't sharing, however I think it is a obvious" and I nod toward the floor. I figured she would look down and see his name and that would be the end of it. Instead I got a ten minute lecture about how I should share the name with her because it isn't as though she is going to tell anyone. I told her again to look down at the ground, but she wouldn't, she just kept getting more irate with me. She finally walked away having never looked down, its funny how pissed she got about it.


With the election getting so close I have begun to feel the tension in our house rise to a point where you can cut it with a knife. Last night we went out for dinner with family and when politics arose I could feel R shifting his weight, getting uncomfortable in his skin, to be honest so was I. Living in a mixed household is a lot easier than discussing it out in public. We took turns changing the subject. It bothers me that R will actually go into attack mode rather than just try and change the subject sometimes. Thankfully last night we were able to keep the other side bashing to a minimum.

A few nights ago the news came on after a show I was watching. They were being very optimistic about Obama winning. I could feel my heart in my throat, my lungs getting squished as I remembered sitting in front of the TV four years ago hearing a similar report about Kerry. I asked R to turn off the TV telling him I couldn't watch it. He responded with "Why? Your guy is winning, aren't you happy?" in a tone that expressed all to clearly his disgust. As I wobbled (yes I wobble in the evenings now) out of the room I told him no, I hate that people are counting the chickens before they hatch. It reminds me to much of four years ago, and how I felt like the world would end, when Bush was re-elected. I remember everyone, including me being so sure Kerry would win, after all how could we as a nation re-elect Bush, and yet he was re-elected. I want Obama to win but these days I find myself trying more and more to be okay with the idea that he might not. Because I can't go through the shock of another loss like 04. Don't get me wrong if Obama loses I will wear black. I will probably cry too but it won't end my world because at least it isn't four more years of Bush.

In a completly seperate coversation R asked me if I thought I could ever live in a swing state, we aren't actually thinking about moving this was just one of those "what If" conversations couples have. I have often said I would love to live in a state where my vote really "counted" and could make a big difference but when I think about it, maybe not. Even here in CA I am considered a leftie liberal, so the in the rest of the nation my ideas and politics are considered extreme. While I love the idea of living somewhere where my vote could actually be the difference of my guy winning or the other guy, the years between national elections would be torchier. I love my friends who disagree with my politics, but I can't imagine living in a place where the majority of people were significantly less extreme than me. I love my green party friends, my friends who vote purely with the democratic party; no I don't include myself in this group being pro-death penalty, and simi anti gun-control. In short it would be to hard to hold my tongue all the time, and if I lived anywhere else I might have to. I like being part of the majority in CA. I like being able to voice my political opinion in a room of strangers and know that it is likely the majority is with me. So no, we will not be moving out of state any time soon.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Show and Tell Sunday

Today I am particapaiting in my very first show and tell Sunday! I hope there are many more to come.

Today I was suposed to spend the day with a friend in the city but alis she got sick and had to cancel. R had a thing with friends planned but apon hearing how I had nothing to do he cancled his plans for a Date Day. Date Days are common in my household but lately have become rare endagered days, brinking on exstinction. I was thrilled R wanted to do everything possable to make sure they didn't become exstenct.

R planned on of our favorite Date Days a outing to Mount D.! We live fairly close but it still takes us about 30 minutes to get from our house to the base of the mountain, and then another 45 minutes to get to the top. It is a wonderful place, full of wildlife. We got to have an up close look at some today when a racoon visited a campsite we were at.

We spent time at the top looking down at our towns. It is funny what you can see from 3,900 feet. We could both make out the hyws that form our area but neither of us could tell exactly where our house was.

We took some pics of us using the timmer feature on my camera. I think this one came out nice:

And also some belly pics:

A wonderful time was had by both of us and it was just what we needed to re-connect.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

30 WEEKS! 3/4 of the way there!

This is a very exciting milestone for us. We are 30 weeks today and thus 3/4 of the way done. I am very happy to have made it thus far.

This week I started having regular braxton hicks contractions. They aren't much fun to be honest. My belly feels like a basket ball and you could bounce quarters off of it if you tried. R likes to feel my tummy when I have them because you can tell quite easily where Roo is. Roo doesn't seem to mind the BH to much but he does snuggle as high up and he can when I get them, making me more unconformable.

I officially have to many stretch marks to count. They itch, and I don't like them but at the same time am happy to get them. They are a small price to pay for the joy of motherhood and pregnancy.

We worked on the nursery a lot this week. R STILL needs to paint, a subject that is getting really old in our house. We have the 0 VOC paint, the supplies and I cleaned off the porch but no pained accessories yet. I am crossing my fingers and toes it is done this weekend. R is great about somethings but he works much better with deadlines, so my mom told him if he didn't get them painted she would net week. R hates being shown up by others so hopefully this is the motivation he needs.

Some of you may have noticed my profile now reads that I write TWO blogs; this one and Roo's World. Roo's World will be up and running shortly. It will be the place for all pics of Roo and possibly a naked belly pic or two. It will be invite only though because I don't want random people with pics of my son. If you want a invitation leave your email address, I plan on giving an invite to all regular readers, so don't be afraid to ask. Once I get you added I will delete your comment so that your email isn't floating around in the blogisphere.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

If things were switched around?

Of you have been reading my blog for any length of time you will know politics are close to my heart, and that I lean LEFT, very very left in fact. Today I came across something about race and this election, race and racism is something I strugle with. I am not color blind and find that I occasionally will make an assumption about a person based on the color of their skin. I am NOT proud of this, but I do admit itand think a lot more people do this than admit it. It is something I am trying to change within me. When that happens I try to be aware of why I have made such an assumption and then disregard that assumption, being aware of my behavior. At all times I try to never let an assumption direct my behavior. I am really only two generations removed from direct racism. My father's parents are Greek (thus have very dark skin) and faced racism growing up in the South including being called the N word and my grandmother couldn't be friends with a girl in her class because she was "whiter" than her. This is nothing compared to the racism, both individual and systematic, that face our youth of color today but it does make me more aware of racism in general. All of that being said I want to share the following:

What if things were switched around -- Obama v McCain
Ponder the following:

What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to pain killers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obamas had adopted a white child? You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cume Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)


John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:

Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the land as well as our standing in the e world. You make the call.

There has to be a reason that, in spite of the above, we are where we are today.
Of course, there is a generous dosage of country-wide stupidity too.

I would love to know how this makes you feel. Please feel free to leave a comment on either side of the issue. I do ask that you be respectful of me and that this is MY blog not yours, so if you want to do name calling, or be disrespectful do it on your own blog.

Monday, October 20, 2008

So those are pg emotions...

You know the rumors that pg ladies are overly emotional, well they are somewhat true. I got my first dose of them last week, when R didn't paint the accent pieces of furniture on the day he had set aside for it. It wasn't one of those wimpy cries either. I am talking full on hysterics, mascara running, not breathing well cries that lasts for at least 5 minutes if not longer. The kind where just when you think it is done, you start right back up again.

Since then I have actually though R was having an affair! Those who know R will laugh because they know that even though we haven't been intimate in a long time, R would never ever do something like that. He isn't having an affair but he also wasn't where he was supposed to be, or answering his phone. He did leave me a message on my phone that his plans had changed and he was at a movie and thus wasn't avalible via phone, BUT I had left my phone at home and thus didn't get the message until after my freak out. I am sure pre-pg this would have bothered me to not know where he was but not quite as badly as it did that day. I thought for sure he would come home smelling of some other girl. And of course in this hormonal state I blamed the alleged affair on me because who wouldn't cheat on his pg wife who refuses sex?

The list goes on and on of emotional break downs, these are the two worst ones. I don't think it is depression, since I feel fine after I cry. I am getting out of bed laughing and enjoying life still so that is great. It does however have me worried, and R too. We both agreed to be sure and talk about any signs of depression we might see in me. If you see it you will say something too, right?

29 and 1/2 week update

Sorry I haven't updated you all in a while. For the most part things are good. Time is flying in some regards and in others it is standing still. With the economy the way it is our house is a little scared as I am sure all single income families are just like us and feeling the pinch.

Roo is excellent! I feel a lot less rolls now and more kicks, pinches and little movements, we are particularly active from 4-5am, 9-9:30am and 4-6pm and 9-10pm. If I do kick counts during any of those above times Roo passes in under 20 minutes easy and under 10 50% of the time. Sometimes we pass in under 5 minutes! We haven't had an u/s but at last appt we were measuring just fine, so I am not worried. He weighs a little over 2 and a 1/2 pounds maybe as much as 3 pounds now. My family has "big" babies 7.5-8.5 pounders and I would guess that if Roo shows up anytime after X-mas he will be about 8 pounds. My Dr says that is right on track and well within the norm. She sees me having no problem giving birth to even a 9 or 10 pound baby, but I would rather not have to push out a 10 pound bowling ball! I am however happy to hear all of this because R's family keeps commenting on how "big" the baby is. I hate hearing this because their idea of BIG is more than 6 pounds at birth. No offense to mom's with 6 pound babies but that seems SMALL to me, I know it isn't small but it does seem small to me.

As for my health, I am doing well. I want to talk about my emotions in a different post but physically I am doing great. My Dr, R and I are all VERY happy about my weight gain. I have yet to hit the 10 pound mark! WOOO HOOO! I couldn't be prouder of myself about this. I am still walking a lot, but have missed yoga for a while. I NEED to get back on track. I do have heart burn now and need TUMS quite often. My back pain is manageable, which might be the best news of all. I know keeping the weight off is really helping with my back. R also gives me a massage every night and that helps too.

We still have a lot to do before baby gets here. Our nursery accent pieces need to be painted (R's job), hang the shelving and pictures, organize clothing, find out what last minute things we will need. We are also still missing some of the "big" stuff too, like our stroller! R's parents both have said they will get this for us but neither has. In fact neither of them has bought the baby anything, which I must say I find weird and annoying given how generous others have been. I am sure they will eventually but it would be nice to feel a little special since I am giving both of them their first biological grandchild!

That is it for now. I promise to be a better blogger this week.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

What a difrence a year makes

About a year ago, I met C. I have blogged about C here and here. Today for the first time since we meet in person a year ago, we saw each other again. I knew OF C long before I actually knew C. She is the SIL of one of R's cousins and is very open about her infertlity, and subsequent adoption. After years of hearing about C, including her pursuit of adoption, we meet face to face at her niece's birthday party last year. I had already known so much about her, but she knew nothing about me. When she asked me about kids, I broke down and cried, and for the rest of the day she stuck by my side, keeping me company and away from R's relatives who don't get it.

Today it was like seeing a friend I hadn't seen since high school only better. C became an email pall after last October and was a person of strength and encouragement in a way only those who have been down the path further than you have can be. Now C is due around Thanksgiving with her second son, the first being from a domestic adoption, to say she never expected to be one of "those" people is an understatement given she went through 10 years of infertility and 2 m/c. She is having a little boy. I had been looking forward to today for weeks not because I was all that thrilled about a 5yr old B-day party but because C would be there. C knew about my pg before most people, about 4 weeks and I knew about her's before her siblings too.

C is one of those people who can say "Isn't God great" and I don't feel like she is talking down to me. Her faith is amazing, honest and real. She is an amazing woman, and mother and her faith inspires me. Today we looked at each other both of us with tears in our eyes and said "What a difference a year makes, God is great" and it was like talking to someone who could see my soul. Today I felt a little tiny stitch mend a part of the hole infertility left, the whole will never mend all the way, but I have learned that is okay and to happy about the stitch. Today I learned the difference a year can make.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Its a .....


I am going to have a son! Yes a SON! R and I are both thrilled. I can't wait for baseball and soccer games, tree houses and Boy Scouts and all the other fun things. I will admit that R and I have known it was a BOY since 18w 3d! Yes I have known and kept it a secret. Something no one, not even I thought possible. R had really wanted to find out the gender at 18weeks but I hadn't, and so we compromised. We would find out and not tell a soul. We both did really well too. I only let it slip once and that was at a store I rarely frequent about three towns over. And now everyone knows: I am growing a boy. Well everyone except R's dad and his wife, they don't know because they weren't at the shower and they asked us not to tell them. I know someone in R's family will slip up and tell but I could care less.

Would you like to see some 3d u/s pics? You would. Are you sure???

Warning: Some people say the 3d u/s pics are a little creepy, if you think you might be one of those people DON'T LOOK!
Okay here they come...

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Baby Shower!

What an amazing day! I have to be one of the luckiest pg women ever to have two best friends who went all out for my baby shower. It was a fantastic day, and I am blown away at the amount of stuff this baby now has!

My friends and family were very generous. Mom particularly went over board. As previously talked about I have been concerned and upset about her participation (or lack there of) in this pg, she defenitly has been making up for it recently and today I was amazed at how much she got me: Petunia Pickle Bottom bag, blankets, 2 boxes of clothing, bottles, nursing stool, the list goes on and on. It is nice to see she is getting as excited about baby as I am.

The other two who went overboard with gifts were Shannon and Holly. The bought me my lamb! I saw it and wanted to run over and hug it. It is the perfect addition to the nursery. They also got me: lamb sleepers, lamb bibs, books, a diaper cake, and some Mustela products. Can you tell they know about my lamb obsession?

I made out like a bandant, that is for sure! Everyone had a great time. Two of my nestie friends came and brought their sons, both of which are IF babies. They were so good, and so well behaved! I hope my little one is like them. R's family came too and while they stuck to socializing together, they still seemed to have a good time. I would say that the party was a success!

I will admit to it being a little weird opening gifts in front of that many people. My bridal shower was so small that this seemed like a lot of people, and a lot of gifts too in comparison. I know I messed up and didn't thank each person after each gift, which is a HUGE blunder on my part. I was trying to but some people went in on gifts and then got me a "little something else" too, so I was going back and forth trying to thank everyone, and being nervous I think I forgot to thank one of R's aunt properly for a gift. Oops!

I had really wanted to say something about how thankful Ryon and I were for this baby and how thankful we are to live in a era where help is available to those who need it to conceive but I chickened out. R isn't ready to come out about our IF even now to his family so I didn't out right say it. HOWEVER a few times I did talk about our clinic, or Dr. H and also just feeling so lucky for the baby. Not sure anyone who didn't know would have caught on but it felt good to have that little reminder for people of "hey this isn't always that easy, for everyone". One of R's cousins is bound to need a little "help" getting pg, she is in a same sex relationship, and hopefully she caught on and thus when the time comes she feels she can turn to us for some support. I hate the idea of her having to go through treatment and that kind of disappointment if it doesn't work at first. If I could have a wish for the world it would be the end of infertility, I hate knowing that while I have "moved on" others are still stuck in the holding pattern of infertility.

Pics in post below!


The cake:

My Thrown:

Holly, Shannon and I:

My Mom and I:

Friday, October 3, 2008

27 Week Dr Appt

Since nothing ever really happens at these things I figured no need to wait on publishing the last post.... ummm.... WRONG!

I'll start out that baby and I are FINE. So please don't worry too much as you read further.

My blood pressure which my home reader says is about 115/74 most mornings, was 90/60. It amazes me the difference between a machine reading and a person but since I always read a little high on the machine, I know this is normal. My Dr and nurse both commented that my BP is GREAT.

Next is the scale. It is funny how much I hated this pre-pg and now it is one of my favorite parts. I have gained 3 pounds since my last appointment (5 weeks ago), bringing my total weight gain too.... 6 pounds. Feel free to hate me, I know I would. I did a little happy dance in the hall way to my room after getting weighted. I figured it would be a lot more, since consuming large amounts of dairy particularly ice cream for the last three weeks.

I review recent lab work with my Dr. I don't have Gestational Diabetes! Wooo hoooo! At least now I don't have to worry about that anymore, but "the iron pills aren't working and we should increase your dose" my Dr tells me. What Iron pills? I wouldn't know either because this is the first I have heard of needing iron pills. I ask her what is she talking about and she explains that I am anemic and have been since MAY. For the record this is the first I am hearing about this. Mine is mild at the moment but it is getting worse and she tells me I should have been on extra iron since May. While I am grateful to have this info now, I would like to know why I didn't hear about this in say May, or June or July or August. I have had one if not two appointments in each of those months, and no one has ever brought it up. Stupid K.aiser!

But at least now we know. At least now we understand why every three to four days I have a day where I feel like crap, because the high steak diet was keeping me from feeling like crap until I missed a day or two of it. We know why I get dizzy easy and why I have a phat bruise on my arm when I hit the railing on the stairs. I am just pissed because once again people who should be taking care of me and the baby aren't. I can only do so much, if I don't know that I am anemic then how can I fix it? I also feel bad because in June I thought there might be a chance I was anemic since I was craving so much red meat but I blew it off because I was pg and everyone told me it was just a pg craving. Maybe if I had asked the right questions at my next appt about the steak craving my Dr would have caught it. I know it isn't my fault but I am pissed at myself for letting this happen, for not taking the absolute best care of myself. Tonight we are picking up iron supplements, in liquid form to try and avoid extra constipation. I am just so frustrated by my Drs, why is it so hard to get good medical care?????

Thursday, October 2, 2008

27 Weeks

Today I am 27 weeks, and I don't quite understand how I got here. No really, where did the time go? How is it that I am now, get this, in the 3rd tri!?! I just can't believe it, I am in the third tri and my baby is healthy alive and thriving. HOLY SHIT! I feel so lucky and blessed it is amazing.

This week R and I realized if I place the remote on my belly that baby will kick it and make it bounce. We spent twenty minutes doing this one night. I sat there and couldn't believe baby is big enough to do that. Dh can't believe it either.

This week I have really enjoyed being pg. I sing to baby everyday now. We sing the same some that my mom used to sing to me called Baby Tree. Baby loves it! It gets him/her to wiggle around. Some days I sing it over and over again just for the movement. I am hoping that by the time baby gets her she/he knows the song and it is calming.

My shower is this weekend! Yes it is a little soon but I didn't want to do it in November due to birthdays and Thanksgiving, and late October didn't work for many reasons plus this gives me plenty of time to finish shopping and setting up. In prep for the baby shower. We are finding out the sex/gender tomorrow. (did you see how slyly I snuck that in?) I will announce here on Monday, if it is a boy or a girl. I am so excited to find out! As a surprise we are telling people at the shower, I can't wait to see how everyone reacts. If you are reading this and coming to the shower PLEASE keep quite about the surprise.

I promised belly pics weeks ago, and am nust now getting two them.
This is me with Shannon and Holly, two of my BFFs. They are amazing and throwing me my shower. This is from 25w2d pg after we worked on the nursery. I promise to do nursery pics soon (as in in a few weeks):

This one is last Friday at 26 weeks: