SA and pre-thanksgiving post

Tonight R's Dr called and oked the SA! WoooHoooo. So it looks like he actually might get it done finally. I am so happy. We are going to have to wait until after I O to do it because right now we are so close to O time but I am happy. Hopefully he won't chicken out about it. I am still nervous about what it will say but I want answers. I want a reason we aren't pg by now and I want a plan. I want a plan both R and I can live with and stick to and hopefully afford. Honestly I have no idea how we will afford anything right now but I refuse to think about this. Somehow we will find a way to afford it and do it.

For those of you who don't know R is significantly older than me. His B-day is in two weeks and he will be 33 then. I am 25.5 at the moment making us 7.5 years apart in age. It is less than a decade but still he remembers things I have NO recollection of. It also means that his clock ticks faster than mine, so while it is true that I am young. We are about 28 or 29, and thus our clock is ticking. There are other reasons I worry about the SA. R was in the army and worked doing chemical recon. So he has been exposed to some yucky stuff even though he never fought or went over seas. Also as a child one of his testies twisted. They found it early and it shouldn't have caused any lasting damage but it still worries me, mostly because I am a worrier by nature. R is worried too. He thinks the boys are directly linked to his manhood. As though if his SA is abnormal then he is less of a man. I think this is a crock of shit but in many ways I feel the same about my body. If I can't reproduce then to me I am less of a woman. Yes it is fucked up and I shouldn't think like that but I do. And I have heard many other T-ttc girls say it too so I know I am not the first to feel that way.

In blogger/thenest news. One of my local t-ttc girls might be mc. There was no fetal pole at the 5 week us and things don't look good. Also one of me IF girls found out she is pg with 3 babies. her dr is worried about her and thinks it is best to selectively reduce. I don't know how they will decide because it is such a hard decision to make. I hope what ever they do that they carry at least one to term and have a healthy baby. They deserve it after all they have been through. Other bloggers are going through a similarly rough time and if you can send them hugs and prayers I would very much like that.

I hope that next time this year my list of favorite blogs is filled with pg and happy healthy babies. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and if you belong to thenest tttc board: This year I am thankful for all of you....