Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Such a sad day

So many others are hurting right now in my blogger world. I am at a loss for words.......


Today I had lunch with my mom and she took me shopping. As we ate she got a very serious look on her face and said she wanted to ask me something about IF/treatment. I swallowed hard but tried not to show how panicked I was on the outside. After some mumbling and trying to find the right words I realized what she was trying to ask was "Why do treatment now?". It is a completely legitimate quesion but it still stung, until I realized she didn't mean it in a judgemental way. She was just asking why treat it now if there is a chance I will get pg on my own since there are no know factors with us.

My answer was that while you hear about people getting pg after "years of treatment or adopting" that that is very rare. That truly most people who go past the year mark NEED treatment to get pg and will not get pg on their own. This completely satisfied her, although she did want to know if R's age could be a factor (33yrs old). I told her no since his SA came back great.

It felt good to have her ask something about it in such a non-judgmental way. I like being asked questions about IF, I like knowing people care about me but I don't like it when I feel judged about it. I think my mom has really turned this coroner. She is starting to "get it" and I know she wants to be a grandma again. While shopping she said to me she couldn't wait to get me my first maternity outfit. I told her I would love that. She is a wonderful mom, and while at times we don't understand each other, other times she understands me better than anyone in the world.

PS No AF yet BFN again this AM (cd 33 and 19 dpo). Thus no 2008 baby for us. :(


Jenny said...

Hey Kittylove,
I just want to say that you are so sweet. You always have such encouraging and uplifting things to say to people.

Your mom sounds sweet too. We may not always understand our parents but they usually mean well. I hope you see your bfp soon.

avalikelava said...

"Yey!" for Mom!
Sometimes people surprise is in small, yet incredible ways.

I hope this continues to strengthen your relationship together.

There will always be ups and downs, but this is a wonderful first step.

I'm thrilled for you :)

Jill said...

Hey girl. So sorry about the BFN. It isn't fair. I'm glad your Mom is there for you. I can honestly say that while my Mom may not always know the right thing to say every time, her constant presence gets me through the toughest of times. I truly hope that your BFP is coming very soon. You are such a sweet person and totally deserve to be a Mom.

Lisa said...

That's great that your mom asked that question! It shows she's thinking about you and your situation and wants to understand it better. Go mom!!