Monday, June 2, 2008

One down, Two to go

We told Pop (R's ex-step-dad) last night. R had been very worried about his reaction. Pop doesn't have any biological children and wasn't a part of R and his brother's lives until they were in Elementary school so his contact with babies is very little. A few times he is at family get-togethers and my niece and nephew will be there. He is kind to them but doesn't go out of his way to be with them. This made R worry that he would stop being a part of our lives once the baby comes. R and Pop are very close and I am close to Pop to so I didn't see that happening. His reaction was of excitement. He doesn't really get overly excited about anything but he smiled and kept saying congratulations to us. He talked about telling his mom and I told him that was fine but that he needed to not tell people who know R's family or mine since we aren't "out" yet. he wanted to know why we hadn't told R's bio parents yet and we explained it was early and they would tell extended family and we just aren't ready for that yet. His response "oh, you mean we are still in the danger zone" you could tell he was scared for us. I told him yes but that the baby has been fine so far and there is no reason to think this pg won't continue as normal. That seemed to make him feel better. At the end of the night R told me he was so glad to get to tell someone on his side. I feel bad we can't tell his parents yet.

Why aren't we telling his parents you might ask. Well his mom is a lot like me and can't keep a secret, and his dad simply WON'T keep it a secret. R's mom would be so excited (she is the last of 7 siblings to be a grandparent and is the 3rd oldest) that she would tell the world. I am not ready for the world to know and neither is R so we are waiting till after 12 maybe even after 14 before we say anything to her. R's dad would tell his siblings not out of excitement but just because he likes telling other people's news. We will be asking him not to say anything to people till 48 hours after we tell him so that WE can tell siblings, grandparents and other people we want to hear it from us. BUT more than likely he will still be on the phone to people before that telling them. He has a hard time respecting the wishes of other people.

As worried about telling Pop as R was I am much more concerned about telling R's dad, P. When R and I announced we were getting married P's reaction was silence. It took me telling him I wasn't pg to get a response and then the response we got was "oh, good". It wasn't till the end of dinner he told R congrats. P has his own timetable of how things should be done. In his mind R should be a homeowner before a husband, and have a retirement plan (and enough money to retire the next day) before a father. We aren't exactly following his ideal path and P isn't to happy with us because of it. With the market the way it is we just can't afford a house I would want to live in for the next 10 years. And who at 33 and 26 have a large enough retirement fund to retire tomorrow? I think that just isn't realistic!

So I am expecting not the greatest response from P. For R's sake I am hoping I am wrong but I have a feeling I won't be. I wish parents could just be happy for their children, after all a baby is a wonderful thing, and it isn't like we aren't married or this wasn't planned. Shit we paid money for this! How much more planned can you get? Oh well, it isn't worth worrying over to much till we hit 14 weeks and it is time to tell.


Anonymous said...

Wow, exciting getting to tell someone! That's great.

My mom is the same way as R's dad, wanting to tell everyone other people's business. I hate that, sorry!

And don't this market I totally understand that finding your dream home can take quite a while, while making a baby only has a short bracket of a lifespan that it can happen.

:) Have fun telling people!

Christina said...

I think it's so sweet how reassuring you were to Pop when he mentioned still being in the "danger zone." I know that you are always cautious and have had some worries in terms of all of the things that could go wrong, so it's really sweet of you to reassure him. And what you told him is exactly right! Baby has been doing well and will continue to do so!! :)

~Jess said...

YAY for telling people! I completely understand about not telling someone because that can't/won't keep a secret (my MIL). I'm so glad it was well received by the people you have told. Hopefully every one else can put aside their negatives and just be happy for you guys!

YAY for baby! (can you tell I'm excited for you!?)

PS. what protocal did you follow for your IUI?

Diana said...

I hope all the people you tell only react with joy!