Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My Husband

R is an amazing partner and husband to me. He is kind, considerate and always striving to give me the world. With Riley's birth a lot of things in our relationship have changed, but he continues to try and be there as best he can.

When R first went back to work he would get up with me for 2 feedings and skip the third. It allowed me to get some extra sleep because all I had to do was nurse and put back to sleep. Then we had a few days where he was up every two hours at night and he picked up the slack even more by getting up with me each feeding. Now that we are back to somewhat regular sleep patterns: normally 5 hours followed by two three hour sets before waking for the day, he has continued to get up each feed. Only now not only does he do the diaper change but for one of the feeds he puts him down too. It gives me about 20 extra minutes a night, and is a nice break for me. I am sure MANY people would find our division of labor unfair, given that he works and I don't but R says he likes putting Riley to sleep because he is so peaceful.

The other thing R does for me that I feel is above and beyond is rubbing my legs and feet while I nurse. When Riley was bucking at the breast we started doing this because when I was less stressed the feeds would go better. R has continued to massage me even though now it isn't needed, and I love the perk. It benefits Riley because he feeds better and R and I get some much needed physical contact.

On Valentines day he put his heart out there and told me how much he loves our son. It was the best gift any mom could ask for, to have her husband speak honestly and openly about how much he loves her and their child.

However sometimes he falls a little short.

Since Riley was born I have been with him just about every second of everyday. In fact the longest stretch he has been away from me is 2 hours, and that was WEEKS ago. Part of the issue is that R sucks at giving a bottle and swaddling, two things you must be able to do to keep Riley happy for more than an hour. In the mean time R has continued to go "gaming" (it is his hobby) with his friends every other weekend. I try not to begrudge him for this, after all my friends are all great about incorporating a baby into our plans, his simply aren't. So if he wants to see his friends he has to leave me and the baby at home. Most weekends I don't really mind, but last weekend he went to a convention on V-day. It was his gift from Riley and I. When I first told him he could go, it was going to be from noon till 6 then it was from noon to 8 and when his BFF came over to carpool to the game I found out the game went to 10pm! I still told him to go but I was pissed. R swears he didn't know it went so late and I do believe him but if you add up all the hours he has gone gaming since Riley's birth they strongly overshadow my measly 2 hours that ONE time!

And then there was the Baby Yoga fiasco, okay fiasco is to strong of a word. I have been going to a local baby yoga class for a few weeks now. Riley LOVES it. He loves the other kids and the teacher. Plus I am learning a lot and it helps me with stuff to do with him. I told Ryon I wanted him to come with yesterday, and he said no. I was crushed so I spent a few hours working on him telling him it would mean a lot to me. Finally agreed to go, but then at class he didn't want to do the fun faces or talk to him. I had to nudge him twice just to get him to do the words with the motions. Grrrr. In the end I think he learned a few things, but it was like pulling teeth and I know he won't be going again.

Over all I am grateful to have such a wonderful husband who loves Riley and I and would do just about anything for us. The good out weigh the bad every day of the week and I find myself to in the lucky group of women who has a husband who actually participates in parenting rather than just helping out mom. I am truly blessed.

4 comments:

shiner said...

I have a feeling my hubby will be the same. He is very excited about being a dad but he games A LOT. He does it here at home but I have to sometimes work on him to get him out of his cave (office) so he will interact with me or do stuff around the house. It can be frustrating. I know it must be harder now that you have the little one. It sounds like you guys are doing really well for the most part though and it's great that you give him credit where it is due.

shiner said...

I have a feeling my hubby will be the same. He is very excited about being a dad but he games A LOT. He does it here at home but I have to sometimes work on him to get him out of his cave (office) so he will interact with me or do stuff around the house. It can be frustrating. I know it must be harder now that you have the little one. It sounds like you guys are doing really well for the most part though and it's great that you give him credit where it is due.

Jen said...

Well, overall, R sound great, but even the great ones have their imperfections.

I know that is one good thing about my dh...he's not perfect so I don't have to be either!

Kristin said...

Shannon was gone from friday night until sunday, almost every other weekend starting in end of may. Katie was a month old. I know how you feel about the time away. I was home alone with the baby all that time. It was hard. Shannon would go flying. I am getting ready for it to start again.