Thursday, September 18, 2008

Woman of little Patience

I have little patience right now for my family, particularly my sister. She and her husband can't seem to get their act together unless everything is handed to them. I have said the words "I am done" many times in regards to them but I just can't ever tell them no. My sister and her husband refuse to put the kids in day care so that they can both work, but they can't make ends meet without both of them working. It is frustrating and once again I am running out of patience.

Today's Kicker:

My mom has her yearly vacation planned to start in a week but my sister's new training begins this week, and her hubby is still working his job thus my mom is taking care of the kids. My sister is expecting my mom to come home from vacation early so Mom can watch the kids and sis can work. Ummmm Anyone other than me think this is F.u.c.k.e.d up?

My mom is letting them live at her house no rent, no utilities and they still don't have enough money to pay their whole food bill so she helps out when they need it. She baby sits (and so do I) for free. She helps with the kids all day and night. The four year old sleeps in her bed so that my sis and her hubby can have their own room. It has gone beyond obsured at this point and yet nothing will change. I can tell my mom over and over again that letting them use her like this is crazy and that she is going to hurt herself working this hard (she is disabled already) but it doesn't change.

At some point I am going to have to say "I won't do this anymore" and that time is quickly approching, but for now I am stuck between helping out and hating myself for it or not helping out and feeling awful for letting down my family, and both choices blow.


Anonymous said...

Damn! Lucky for your sister you're so loving and non-judgemental!

Anonymous said...

Um, your sis sounds like a gem. Stick to your guns!

~Jess said...

Isn't family wonderful?! My cousins are all like that: They're married and have 2 kids each (2 different cousins). Both live at home with their parents who happen to live with the mother in law. So three generations in one 3 bedroom house, and they always crying poverty.
Fortunately we don't have much to do with them.

Good luck with your sister. Hopefully your mom sees the light before she runs herself ragged.

ggop said...

Your poor mom is being taken for granted. Can't blame you for going mad.

shiner said...

you're correct, it is fucked up. I would be upset if I felt like my sis was taking advantage of my mother, too. I had enough last week and told everyone how I feel. Pregnancy gives me courage I did not have before, or maybe it's the hormones. I hope it gets resolved soon for your whole family's sake.

Anonymous said...

That is a mess. It sounds like a cycle of enabling, once it has started it is really hard to break. It all goes back to the saying of "if I do it this one time, they will expect it EVERY time" and that sounds like exactly what's happened with your sister. I'm sorry you and your mother are being so mistreated by someone who is supposed to love you both.

Maria (MKC101103) said...

That is absurd. And your sister will find out just how much you help out once your little one comes along and you can't give your time to help with her kids.