There are days I don't appreciate my husband enough, in fact there are many days this happens. But not today. Today I re-picked up my book about working vs Stay at home moms. It is a collection of short stories, perfect for me who can get side tracked with something ever ten minutes. R and I lied in bed today, him on his computer, me in my book and just hung out. The book is really helping me pin point how R and I are going to do the whole working vs STA thing, in truth like the majority of moms I will be neither for now but that is a very different post.
So I am reading one of the stories and the writer talks about a conversation she has with her husband when their child is months old. He asks her "what would you do if something happened to our child and you weren't here" Her response is what mine would be basically she would deal with the situation, and he tells her he would never forgive her.
I looked at those words in the book and was immediately grateful for my husband. He will never expect me to give up the part of me that loves work, that loves school. He is 100% committed to being my partner and a 50/50 person in this relationship. He could never uter those words "never forgive you" for something not my fault, for something not in my control. And he wouldn't play that kind of mind game with me ever. Today I appreciate my partner, and am thankful for him. There is no one I would rather go down this road of parenthood and life with than him. R, I love you.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A few favorite things
I had been planning a few f my favorite things list of baby items for a while. And after everyone's comments about my last post it seems like a good idea. In my defense I don't feel all doom and gloom all the time. I am excited and thrilled about being pg. Watching my belly move, which just started this week, has been amazing. Tonight R saw it move and his face lit up. He normally hides his emotions so this was a big joy for me. I can't believe the baby can make my belly move! How cool is that!?!
I am trying to enjoy each and every moment of this, I know it isn't going to last much longer and while we want more kids I am trying to live each day in the moment and enjoy it.
With that said here are a few of my favorite baby things:
Our nursary is done in a lamb theme due to my massive obsession with lambs. I think this makes a perfect addition, but R thinks it is ridiculous. Thankfully I have it on good athority I am getting it as a gift!
One thing I could never get DH on board with was a bugaboo stroller. Money was a sticking point for him and I understand that since they cost about 1,000 dollars once you get everything. In our family that is too much money for a stroller. After hours of research I found a stroller that is: more compact, folds easier, and is lighter plus costs less and has the same perks of the bugaboo. And while not a 'cheap' stroller at under 400 dollars it is much more reasonable. Introducing the Bumbleride Flyer:
If you plan on CD (cloth diapering) a must have is a stash of Bum Genius 3.0 They fit like a dream, have great obsorbancy, and grow with your child from 10 pounds to 35. I have 6 so far but am hoping to have 15 by the time the little one comes! At 18.95 a piece plus tax they aren't cheap! Thankfully since they grow with your child R has allowed this splurge.
And last but not least what lamb nursary would be complete without a sleep sheep. This little guy plays diffrent sounds to act as black noise to sooth and calm baby. And it is REALLY cute too! My friend and fellow blogger Ava bought it for me and it looks very cute in the crib.
I am trying to enjoy each and every moment of this, I know it isn't going to last much longer and while we want more kids I am trying to live each day in the moment and enjoy it.
With that said here are a few of my favorite baby things:
Our nursary is done in a lamb theme due to my massive obsession with lambs. I think this makes a perfect addition, but R thinks it is ridiculous. Thankfully I have it on good athority I am getting it as a gift!
One thing I could never get DH on board with was a bugaboo stroller. Money was a sticking point for him and I understand that since they cost about 1,000 dollars once you get everything. In our family that is too much money for a stroller. After hours of research I found a stroller that is: more compact, folds easier, and is lighter plus costs less and has the same perks of the bugaboo. And while not a 'cheap' stroller at under 400 dollars it is much more reasonable. Introducing the Bumbleride Flyer:
If you plan on CD (cloth diapering) a must have is a stash of Bum Genius 3.0 They fit like a dream, have great obsorbancy, and grow with your child from 10 pounds to 35. I have 6 so far but am hoping to have 15 by the time the little one comes! At 18.95 a piece plus tax they aren't cheap! Thankfully since they grow with your child R has allowed this splurge.
And last but not least what lamb nursary would be complete without a sleep sheep. This little guy plays diffrent sounds to act as black noise to sooth and calm baby. And it is REALLY cute too! My friend and fellow blogger Ava bought it for me and it looks very cute in the crib.
99 Days!
99 Days till my EDD. Not that this baby will be coming on January 1st, I still think I will go late but it is fun to think that in 99 days I could be a mom.
There are still days I have my worries, not about being a good parent but about having a healthy live baby. All the pg books talk about how now it should be getting real for me that I am going to have a baby and that I am going to be a parent. That it is normal to feel overwhelmed at that prospect, but I don't feel that way. I feel grateful for what has been given to me and scared it will be taken away. I don't worry about 3 am feedings or getting a date night with R. I am not worried about breastfeeding, or sleep issues, or colic. I can handle those things, I have a husband who is going to be a great parent, a mom who lives 2 miles away and can be here in 10 minutes if I need her, I have two good friends who are honorary Aunties and I know they will help me out if I need it, I have years as a nanny and a degree in child development. I should be able to handle the challenges of being a parent to a healthy newborn. People with much less have done it and been good parents so why wouldn't I be able to?
My worries revolve around fetal death and more recently infant death from things like SIDS. I found myself jealous the other day of a blogger whose son is home on a heart monitor, until I realized how LUCKY I would be to have a child who didn't need it. These aren't "normal" worries and I know it. My pg friends and nesties aren't concerned with these issues. The thought of fetal death hasn't crossed their mind until I have brought it up. It isn't that I think of these things a lot but sometimes I worry I think about them too much. Enough so that I am not enjoying this pg the way I should.
But I am enjoying it more and more now. Baby kicks all the time, and responds with movement when I talk to him/her in the am. We spend out mornings in the baby room eating breakfast in the rocker because I love being in there so much. I feel so blessed and lucky to be pg, to be healthy, to be having a healthy child. I am enjoying it, and I want to treasure the next 99 days. I want to hold onto the good parts of them and savor the moments of joy. As worried as I might be at times I am looking forward to being a mom. I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms, to watch his/her chest rise and fall with each breath, to watch my husband cry at the sight of our newborn. I am so excited for those moments! 99 more days...
There are still days I have my worries, not about being a good parent but about having a healthy live baby. All the pg books talk about how now it should be getting real for me that I am going to have a baby and that I am going to be a parent. That it is normal to feel overwhelmed at that prospect, but I don't feel that way. I feel grateful for what has been given to me and scared it will be taken away. I don't worry about 3 am feedings or getting a date night with R. I am not worried about breastfeeding, or sleep issues, or colic. I can handle those things, I have a husband who is going to be a great parent, a mom who lives 2 miles away and can be here in 10 minutes if I need her, I have two good friends who are honorary Aunties and I know they will help me out if I need it, I have years as a nanny and a degree in child development. I should be able to handle the challenges of being a parent to a healthy newborn. People with much less have done it and been good parents so why wouldn't I be able to?
My worries revolve around fetal death and more recently infant death from things like SIDS. I found myself jealous the other day of a blogger whose son is home on a heart monitor, until I realized how LUCKY I would be to have a child who didn't need it. These aren't "normal" worries and I know it. My pg friends and nesties aren't concerned with these issues. The thought of fetal death hasn't crossed their mind until I have brought it up. It isn't that I think of these things a lot but sometimes I worry I think about them too much. Enough so that I am not enjoying this pg the way I should.
But I am enjoying it more and more now. Baby kicks all the time, and responds with movement when I talk to him/her in the am. We spend out mornings in the baby room eating breakfast in the rocker because I love being in there so much. I feel so blessed and lucky to be pg, to be healthy, to be having a healthy child. I am enjoying it, and I want to treasure the next 99 days. I want to hold onto the good parts of them and savor the moments of joy. As worried as I might be at times I am looking forward to being a mom. I can't wait to hold my baby in my arms, to watch his/her chest rise and fall with each breath, to watch my husband cry at the sight of our newborn. I am so excited for those moments! 99 more days...
Monday, September 22, 2008
OMG I agre with a conservitive!
This rarely happens to me but today I came across an article written by a conservative and I actually agree with him, rather than "I see your point but disagree" which is normally what happens.
Here is the article:
http://www.dmagazine.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?nm=Core+Pages&type=gen&mod=Core+Pages&tier=3&gid=B33A5C6E2CF04C9596A3EF81822D9F8E
Here is the article:
http://www.dmagazine.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?nm=Core+Pages&type=gen&mod=Core+Pages&tier=3&gid=B33A5C6E2CF04C9596A3EF81822D9F8E
Friday, September 19, 2008
25 Weeks!
I am 25 weeks today. Not much new going on with me and baby, both of us are doing fine. I am getting big enough that somethings are getting hard to do, things like tying my shoes. I however am not complaining, the baby kicks make up for it big time.
This weekend R and I have a lot planned: a date night, Bradley class, a MOM (mom of multiple) Garage Sale, Art and Wine Festival in my 'home town', SF friends coming over Sunday to help set up the nursery and for dinner.
This weekend R and I have a lot planned: a date night, Bradley class, a MOM (mom of multiple) Garage Sale, Art and Wine Festival in my 'home town', SF friends coming over Sunday to help set up the nursery and for dinner.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Woman of little Patience
I have little patience right now for my family, particularly my sister. She and her husband can't seem to get their act together unless everything is handed to them. I have said the words "I am done" many times in regards to them but I just can't ever tell them no. My sister and her husband refuse to put the kids in day care so that they can both work, but they can't make ends meet without both of them working. It is frustrating and once again I am running out of patience.
Today's Kicker:
My mom has her yearly vacation planned to start in a week but my sister's new training begins this week, and her hubby is still working his job thus my mom is taking care of the kids. My sister is expecting my mom to come home from vacation early so Mom can watch the kids and sis can work. Ummmm Anyone other than me think this is F.u.c.k.e.d up?
My mom is letting them live at her house no rent, no utilities and they still don't have enough money to pay their whole food bill so she helps out when they need it. She baby sits (and so do I) for free. She helps with the kids all day and night. The four year old sleeps in her bed so that my sis and her hubby can have their own room. It has gone beyond obsured at this point and yet nothing will change. I can tell my mom over and over again that letting them use her like this is crazy and that she is going to hurt herself working this hard (she is disabled already) but it doesn't change.
At some point I am going to have to say "I won't do this anymore" and that time is quickly approching, but for now I am stuck between helping out and hating myself for it or not helping out and feeling awful for letting down my family, and both choices blow.
Today's Kicker:
My mom has her yearly vacation planned to start in a week but my sister's new training begins this week, and her hubby is still working his job thus my mom is taking care of the kids. My sister is expecting my mom to come home from vacation early so Mom can watch the kids and sis can work. Ummmm Anyone other than me think this is F.u.c.k.e.d up?
My mom is letting them live at her house no rent, no utilities and they still don't have enough money to pay their whole food bill so she helps out when they need it. She baby sits (and so do I) for free. She helps with the kids all day and night. The four year old sleeps in her bed so that my sis and her hubby can have their own room. It has gone beyond obsured at this point and yet nothing will change. I can tell my mom over and over again that letting them use her like this is crazy and that she is going to hurt herself working this hard (she is disabled already) but it doesn't change.
At some point I am going to have to say "I won't do this anymore" and that time is quickly approching, but for now I am stuck between helping out and hating myself for it or not helping out and feeling awful for letting down my family, and both choices blow.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Recycle
Most people when they hear this word think plastic or glass bottles and paper but recently it has taken on a new meaning for me. Recently I have begun applying it to... surprise, surprise... baby items!
I have always thought children use things for way to short a time too buy new 'stuff' for each baby that comes into the world. My sister had three swings between her two kids at her house and for me that sounds crazy, even crazier given the size of our apartment. After two kids she has a plethora of "stuff" some of which she has given away but most of which sits up in storage above my mom's garage. My sis has been great about giving me some stuff, a boppy, a swing (although the crappiest of the three she has), a bouncer, a play mat and a few boxes of baby clothing not to mention a hell of a lot of maternity clothing. I am very thankful that I get to recycle these things for my child rather than them ending up in a land fill, and it means I don't have to spend money to buy them either. Other people in my family are horrified, put simply, all of R's family can't believe I don't want "new" stuff for my first baby.
The idea of receiving used gifts horrifies them and they can't believe that one of my favorite baby shops is a containment store. I will admit there are a few things where used will not do, the car seat and extra base but other than that I don't mind used. I have tried reasoning with them that it is a great way to shop on a budget given my 2nd favorite store is Gymboree. The money I save at the consignment store goes toward something new at Gymboree but they still can't wrap there heads around the idea that recycling is better than new. Isn't that sad? Now I love our consumerism society as much as the next 20 something girl but resources are running out. And contrary to what was shoved into my brain by TV and friends as a teen, lots of stuff doesn't equal happiness.
Yes I L>O>V>E my 'new' Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper bag! I love that it matches my stroller and that it holds 3 bottles at a time BUT what I love most about it is that I found it for 50$ in excellent used condition. More than I love the bag I love the extra 100 bucks sitting in my bank account because I found it used. I got what I want, didn't make R gasp at the price tag AND that bag didn't end up in the trash. WIN WIN WIN! How can you argue with that?
I understand this isn't everyone's cup of tea and it does take some getting used to but try it and you might be surprised. I like carrying my heavy wallet in my new bag and I think you might like that feeling too.
I have always thought children use things for way to short a time too buy new 'stuff' for each baby that comes into the world. My sister had three swings between her two kids at her house and for me that sounds crazy, even crazier given the size of our apartment. After two kids she has a plethora of "stuff" some of which she has given away but most of which sits up in storage above my mom's garage. My sis has been great about giving me some stuff, a boppy, a swing (although the crappiest of the three she has), a bouncer, a play mat and a few boxes of baby clothing not to mention a hell of a lot of maternity clothing. I am very thankful that I get to recycle these things for my child rather than them ending up in a land fill, and it means I don't have to spend money to buy them either. Other people in my family are horrified, put simply, all of R's family can't believe I don't want "new" stuff for my first baby.
The idea of receiving used gifts horrifies them and they can't believe that one of my favorite baby shops is a containment store. I will admit there are a few things where used will not do, the car seat and extra base but other than that I don't mind used. I have tried reasoning with them that it is a great way to shop on a budget given my 2nd favorite store is Gymboree. The money I save at the consignment store goes toward something new at Gymboree but they still can't wrap there heads around the idea that recycling is better than new. Isn't that sad? Now I love our consumerism society as much as the next 20 something girl but resources are running out. And contrary to what was shoved into my brain by TV and friends as a teen, lots of stuff doesn't equal happiness.
Yes I L>O>V>E my 'new' Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper bag! I love that it matches my stroller and that it holds 3 bottles at a time BUT what I love most about it is that I found it for 50$ in excellent used condition. More than I love the bag I love the extra 100 bucks sitting in my bank account because I found it used. I got what I want, didn't make R gasp at the price tag AND that bag didn't end up in the trash. WIN WIN WIN! How can you argue with that?
I understand this isn't everyone's cup of tea and it does take some getting used to but try it and you might be surprised. I like carrying my heavy wallet in my new bag and I think you might like that feeling too.
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