Saturday, July 11, 2009

Angelina Jolie makes it look too easy

R comented to me the other night that I give him mixed signals about BFing. That one minute I am talking about how beautiful it is and the next threatining not to nurse number 2. And he is right I do have a very love hate relationship with breastfeeding but given our situation I think that is normal.

When Riley was first born I LOVED to bf him. It was a highlight of my day and I waxed poeticly to anyone who would listen that every woman should at least try it and after trying it they would have no choice but to stick with it because it is suck a beautiful thing. Then as we all know Riley's refulx got worse, he then hit a reverse cycle eating pattern and nothing has been the same sense. That said there are moments I still love it, moments where he caresses my breast or latches on himself and is a good feeder that I remember why I love it so much.

The part I still hate about bfing is that Riley won't take a bottle, or at least he won't take it from anyone other than his Aunts. We recently gave up the bottle in hopes of using a sippy cup. It for the most part works but I still find my self mostly attached to the little guy. R has yet to be able to give him a full feeding, even though my mom was able to. This means any time I get free so does R, which would be fine if it weren't that he also gets other free time too. The scale definatly tips in his favor even if he fails to see it that way.

I am sure my love hate relationship is bound to continue for a while longer. After all I have made it this far and it would suck to give formula now. I am still playing with the idea of exstended breastfeeding but I think Riley will be fully weaned by 18 months, that takes us through flu season and will allow us to time it right with a developmental age where self weaning or child lead weaning is more common.

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