Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Birth Story

I finally wrote my birth story! Here it is:



Short Story:


Water broke unexpectedly 16 hours after my version to flip baby from breech position. He did flip during the version and thus we tried to continue with our unmediated birth plan. However the cards were stacked against us because at 36 weeks 1 day my cervix was shut tight and not effaced at all, and I didn't have any contractions on my own. We ended up with every medical intervention and in the end I had a c-section.

I have this moment right before the c-section where I realize that Riley and my body know it is too early to be born. My body is doing what it thinks is best for the baby and trying to keep him inside. I find a peaceful place with needing the c-section. I may need help getting pg, I may need help getting the baby out, but I grow healthy babies. This becomes my mantra, and has stayed my mantra about my reproductive health.

Funny thing about my labor and delivery, NOTHING went the way I wanted it till my c-section. Because he was breech I had thought a lot about how I wanted the c-section to go if I needed it. I had a list of requests for the nurses and Dr, in the case of a c-section. I got EVERYTHING on my list during my c-section. Riley wasn't ever taken out of the room, I didn't have my arms tied down, I breast feed with in 30 minutes and so much more. I didn't get the birth I wanted but I got the best c-section!



Long story:
First the version:


The night before my version I didn't sleep well. I couldn't eat after midnight and because I was pg and thus hungry all the time I woke up at 4 am starving and didn't get back to sleep.


At 9 am we went into the DR. They monitored me on an NST machine and Riley looked great. He was doing well but they needed him to move a little more so the nurse put this buzzer to my belly. It didn't hurt at all just scared Riley into moving more. My Dr ended up needing to use this same buzzer during the version and I am so glad I got to feel it before hand otherwise I might have tensed up when we had the version.


With the NST over the DR came in and we checked fluid levels, mine were great. We also checked on cord position and where my placenta was, both looked good. They gave me the shot to relax my uterus and after 3 minutes I still didn't feel the heart pounding sensation they said I would. They decided to start the procedure and tipped me back so that my head was below my hips.


I had been hoping that DH could hold my hand through this but he couldn't, he stood to the side while the Dr and the nurse put their hands on my belly and turned him. It did hurt but only as much as Riley trying to turn on his own. The Dr got him almost completely flipped but Riley's leg was stuck, they used the buzzer on him and he pulled it out and flipped the rest of the way!


First words out of my mouth were "Good Job Riley!" I had known he could flip and was right about something being stuck. At this same moment my heart began to race, the drug they had given me kicked into full effect AFTER the procedure! I was so happy that I didn't care. Riley and I were monitored again for about 20-30 minutes. After that we were let go, and told to go walk to help him settle into my pelvis.


It was uneventful till...16 hours later at 3:45 am my water broke.


BIRTH STORY



3:45 am Dec 6th I woke up to what I thought was just a little unine leaking out. I had yet to have this happen in pg, but I figured the new position of the baby was causing pressure in new areas. I went to the bathroom and LOTS of liquid came out. I started to wonder if this was my water breaking, but told myself I was only 36 weeks and thus it couldn't be.RIGHT? I went back to bed and as I layed down more liquid came out, this time I woke up Ryon. I still wasn't sure it was my water breaking because when I stood and did a kegel it would stop. Ryon woke up and instead it was pee. I came to bed again and the same thing happened. Now I knew it was my water and I began to panic. Our Dr had warned us Riley could turn back on his own with out me knowing it. I got out the Doppler (yes I have my own) and found the heartbeat down below my belly button, a good sign that he was still head down. The week before I had had many dreams about a prolapsed cord, so while Ryon called the hospital I convinced myself that Riley was okay.

Ryon called Kaiser Walnut Creek and they were full with people waiting in triage. We had to go out to Antioch! This would be a 45 minute drive even at this time of night. I hadn't yet packed my hospital bag, but grabbed my camera and extra set of batteries and off we went to get my mom.

On the car ride to the hospital I continued to gush water. I couldn't believe how much water there was! I started to go into denial about what was happening. I must have said over 100 time "but I have 4 more weeks left"

We got to the hospital and I was quickly checked in. They strapped me to the monitor and both baby and I were fine although I wasn't having any contractions. Riley was still head down! When they told me they were admitting me I asked them to make sure my water really had broken. The nurse assured me it had but ran the test anyway. It was +, my water had broken. Again I told everyone that this couldn't be happening, I wasn't ready and at 36 weeks gestation neither was he.

After I got settled in my room Ryon and I walked the halls. Because I hadn't had a GBS test done and my water had broken I needed the antibiotics, we called my IV pole my pole of power. We walked and walked and walked and walked for 3 hours. At 6am I needed a nap, Ryon mom and I all tried to sleep.

At 8 am I got up and walked more. Nothing helped start my contractions and by 10 am I knew we would need the pit. I was still determined to go pain med free, but needed some time to let it sink in that Riley was coming, whether I was ready or not. From 10 am to noon when we started the pit I visualized my ideal birth over and over and over again. I tried to emotionally come to terms with the reality that I would be having a pre-term baby and losing 4 weeks of pg. I wondered if I had enjoyed it enough, if I had cherished all the moments of him growing inside me. Eventually I felt like I had come enough to terms to start the pit.

1ish maybe 2 We started the pit, and by 4 pm I was breathing trough the contractions. I would get though them one at a time. Ryon and my mom were amazing coaches giving me all the had to help me through. I needed a lot of help, breathing through them. Riley tolerated the contractions beautifully but we had a really hard time keeping him on the monitor. Since I was on Pit I had to be on the monitor all the time. Emotionally I was okay with this because fetal death was such a HUGE fear of mine this whole time.

I labored till 8pm before they placed the internal monitor. I was not happy about this. I was so worried it would hurt him. This may have been my hardest concession in labor because it was something that I knew could cause HIM pain.

Some time around 10 pm I get checked, I am 4cm. I want the epidural but hold out till 12:30 when I get checked again and am still 4 cm, I break down and get the epidural. Emotional I am exased, I haven't slept since my water broke and the day before had little sleep due to concerns over the aversion. The epidural man is really nice and doesn't make Ryon or mom leave the room. I tell my mom how sorry I am for letting her down, for letting myself down. I really wanted and tried to go with out it but couldn't. Everyone tell me how strong I am and how proud they are, but I still feel very defeated. My midwife holds me and the epidural doesn't hurt. I stay really really still during it just like they tell me too and everything goes well despite my fear of needles.

The epidural works and I try to rest mean while they bump the pit WAY up.

3am I am shaking during contractions and having to breath through them again. We turn the epidural up, still no help and the epidural has cause my blood pressure to plummet. Riley is still doing great, but they are concerned about me, so they give me meds to increase my BP. About an hour latter the contractions are causing the top of my
stomic to contract pulling me into a ball. I can't control it, no matter how hard I try. The midwife needs to see how strong my contractions are because on the monitor they aren't close or long enough but I can't tolerate an increase in Pit.

We get the monitor in and find that my contractions at quad peaking off the charts but only 40 seconds long. I am also still only 4 cm. I labor till 7 am when another check shows I am still 4 cm dilated. They can't turn up the pit, and I can't labor like this much longer, it is time to consider a c-section. My midwife assures me I did EVERYTHING I could to do this vaginally. I am very upset about the c-section but I also know in my heart that my body isn't ready to let the baby come out.

I have this moment where I realize that Riley and my body know it is too early to be born. My body is doing what it thinks is best for the baby and trying to keep him inside. I find a peaceful place with needing the c-section. I may need help getting pg, I may need help getting the baby out, but I grow healthy babies. This becomes my mantra, and has stayed my mantra about my reproductive health.

8:37am Riley is born. He is PINK! All the Drs and nurses comment about how pink he is, but it takes me a while to realize that this is a good thing. His Apgar scores are 7 and then 9. I am able to "hold" him within moments of birth. I kiss his whole body, and then he goes back to the warmer. He weighs 6 pounds 13 oz! I tell myself again my mantra. He is healthy and that is what matters most!

As I get put back together I have a little break down, and start asking all kinds of questions to the Drs. They have to give me a little something so that I shut up, but they only give me 1/8th of a dose so I won't forget anything.

Per my request Riley doesn't leave the c-section room, and when he does it is because I am going to recovery. They put him on my chest to go to recovery! I was getting my skin to skin bonding time less than 20 minutes after birth! Ya something finally went RIGHT!

In recovery Riley gets a bath with both of us there, I also learned to breast feed. Dallas went home and after an hour in recovery I get to go to the mom and baby side of things. We are now a family of THREE!

Funny thing about my labor and delivery, NOTHING went the way I wanted it till my c-section. Because he was breech I had thought alot about how I wanted the c-section to go if I needed it. I had a list of requests for the nurses and Dr, in the case of a c-section. I got EVERYTHING on my list during my c-section. Riley wasn't ever taken out of the room, I didn't have my arms tied down, I breast feed with in 30 minutes and so much more. I didn't get the birth I wanted but I got the best c-section!

After Birth Recovery

Ryon and I went home with Riley three days after birth and PPD hit me HARD the first night home but once the meds kicked in I have been doing much much better. C-section recovery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it DOES suck.

7 comments:

KellyMarie said...

Thank you for sharing. I'm so happy to read that you were able to find peace in having your c-section, as i know that it was a big concern of yours. You certainly did do all you could to try to have him vaginally!

Can't wait to meet the little guy :)

Morgan said...

Having the version to get your baby turned sounds scary! Expecially the part about the drug making your heart pound!

That's great that you had such a wonderfull c-section experience! I love reading positive stories like that!

Sasha & Mark said...

Congratulations! I know it wasn't exactly how you planned, but it sounds like everything was necessary and you had as good of an experience as you could have with a C! Little Riley is adorable and healthy! :)

JGirl2005 said...

Thanks for sharing!! I've heard that you pretty much need the epidural with pit. I had that with my loss - they had to induce because my water broke and I needed the epidural. (but I have since read many people saying that pit makes contractions way worse than they would normally be).
Great labor story - sorry it wasn't your ideal - but everything worked out after he was out. Great job, momma!

ggop said...

Congratulations Ariella! I was moved reading this. My birth story went awry (emergency C + baby in NICU) and I totally relate with your comment about things not going at all as per your plan. However, you got to bond with your baby right away so you are off to a great start!

All the best for post partum stress recovery. Take good care of yourself.

Riley is very cute and he knows his mamma did her best to keep him in for the longest possible time.

Just Me said...

What a great story!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!

I'm glad that C-section recovery isn't as bad as you thought!!!

Also glad that you got everything you wanted out of the C-section!!!

HUGS!!!

Kristin said...

Congrats again. You have a healthy baby boy and are a fantastic mommy. Story sounds to similar to mine, after a certain point. Hey, Katie was pink too, very pink, they all said the same thing.