Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Going back on the pill

Not BC pill, anti-depression pills. I have thought a LOT about my depression and last year's (see any post in Feb/March) break down. Family and friends really dropped the ball on that one and so did I. I really should have been on drugs then.

When we found out Roo was breech I spent the weekend crying, I wasn't consolable about 30% of the time. I knew that weekend that no matter how Roo comes out, I would need the drugs as soon as he does. Actually I think it might be wise to take them starting now since it can take a while to get dosage right but I really want to make it through the pg drug free.

So for the last few weeks I have been slowly mentally preparing myself that I will be taking them. R and I talked about it a little and sadly he seemed hesitant to agree at first. The next day was a Sunday I spent alone and I cried all day again. He came home, I was a complete emotional mess and it clicked for him. I need to be back on my meds. He is 100% supportive now.

I don't think I would have come to this realization without the help and support of my bestest friend Shannon. Love you girl! She really helped me see the light, she would probably be the only person other than me to argue I should go back on the meds now and she is right. I know she is right but I am not ready to really admit that anywhere but here.

So that is my newest confession, if you know me IRL please don't bring this up, unless I do first. It isn't something I really want to talk about all that much. I will be bringing it up on my own with each of you I am sure.


shiner said...

My sister was off her meds for her 1st and suffered horrible post partum. With the second one she broke down and got back on her meds some time during the pregnancy because she was so miserable. Her second baby is 100% fine and she had 0 post partum.

ggop said...

Take care of yourself Ariella. I will only give you a virtual hug.
My friend's kids did great even though she was on her meds during her pregnancies.

We all have a long road ahead of us. I only wish you positive chi and good vibes.


Anonymous said...

You do what you need to do for you. If your not right, you can't take the best care of Roo...big hugs!

Just Me said...

Ehhh... I was on them for like two years, then one day, I didn't need them anymore. With a baby on the way, you have to take care of yourself first!

Hang in there girl!!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to hear you will be doing what is not only right for you, but for your family. You're in my thoughts, Ariel.

Echloe said...

Sweetie I hope everything goes o.k. for you and baby Roo.

Anonymous said...

Love you too sweetie.

Amanda said...

Hey...I just saw on the nest you had your little Riley!! Congrats to you. I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery! Take care!

Anonymous said...

Pics of Riley for you.