Ramdom tid bits

People keep asking me how I am. So I want to be honest with you all.

I am:

better than I was a month ago
worse than 3 months ago
but all in all okay

I have learned that I don't need to be happy and sunshining all the time if that isn't how I feel. IF has made me bitter but it has also made me resiliant, and has tought me to seek help when needed. It has taught me about my relationship with others as well. These lesons were hard to learn but I needed to learn them. I also realized that I will be okay, I will never go back to the way I was but that isn't a bad thing. I am a changed person and I accept that.

On thenest there was a poll about crying. I didn't cry all weekend even though I normally cry every other day or so. But today I was reading this and bauled like a baby. Thanks Maria (MKC101103) it was a good cry.

There also have been quite a few posts on the t-ttc board from friends of IF girls. They want to know how they can help thier friends. I look at those posts and wish I had friends like that. I wish I had a good or best friend wo understood what this was like. Not because I would want them to go through it but because it would be so nice to really talk to someone daily about this who is in the same room as me.