Today was my first accupuncture appt

and it went really well. It didn't hurt I was able to relax and I even felt the tingling sensation through out my body. I LOVED it!

For those of you who don't know this was a HUGE deal for me because I have an intense fear of needles. 10 years ago I was still crying and being held down by nurses for blood draws. Last year I finally moved out of the children's room and now get my blood drawn like an adult. Today was a huge step for me.

Please don't judge my fear because admitting this is all very hard for me. I wanted to share because I thought maybe some of you might be considering going but afraid. I want you to know how good it felt. I was going for my infertility and stress, but they worked on a lot of things today.

She told me that I might experience random crying today and while I have yet to break down and cry I am very emotional today. I want to cry, I just can't. I have a feeling I might be visiting Utube and watching "I would die for that" today.

I also had a very vivid dream last night. I dreamt my mom told me she was pg a year ago and had aborted the baby. It was just a dream but it shocked me. I am very disturbed by it. I asked her about it and she looked at me like I was crazy but did re affirm to me that it was just a dream. I have always had vivid dreams and sometimes they are scary but this one was weird. I knew it was a dream but at the same time I didn't. I remember in part of it I was asking her why she didn't give it to me. She was saying something about me wanting my own children. And all I could think was "How could you?" It was like in my dream I was Pro-life which I am not IRL.

I have to admit though IF has made me question the right to chose. I never thought that could happen but it has. The issue is no longer black and white but shades of grey. Funny hu?

Someone else's thoughts for a change

http://theunlucky20percent.blogspot.com/2008/01/new-and-improved-worldview.html