a little good, a little bad and a prayer for someone else

I threw a house party on Saturday and it was so much fun. It was a big hit and while I broke the diet big time it was so worth it! Today I recovered from my hangover did somethings around the house and went over to clean my mom's house too. I stayed on the diet all day! I am so proud of myself for that becuse it is hard to go suger free when the day before you had a ton of it. Weigh in will be Monday and I am praying for at least a small loss.

AF had left yesterday but she decided to return today with a vengince again! GRRRRR My periods are normally short and it would be just my luck to have her hang on till Thursday forcing me to cancel the HSG. I don't think that will happen but I will be laughing if it does, because that would be just my luck! Again I doubt she will hang on that long.


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Someone has been on my mind lately. Corrie adopted a beautiful boy in August after a 10 year battle with infertility. She is one of the best mothers I know and in December the bio father came back into the picture. They have indured a long court battle and I have yet to hear if it is done or not. I pray for Corrie daily becase she not only is a wonderful person but also a person who truely "gets it" when it came to adoption.

She knew that her greatist gift would also mean the lose of a child to another mother. Corrie also saved me from myself on a day when I thought I just couldn't do it anymore. Her strength perservenace and heart inspires me. She has never asked me to pray for her, only that I pray for what is best for her son. I of course have an opinion on what that means and I am sure she does too but her faith is so resound she gives it up to GOD to do what he sees fit. That astonishes me.

I often worry about inturding into her life, about asking for to much info from her. But tonight I ventered out and wrote her of my up comming HSG and for an update if she has one. I pray that when she gets back to me her news is good news. If you will pray with me that would be wonderful.

good and bad news

A bit of good and a bit of bad news today. Af came today! And that is the good news. So I called to get the HSG scheduled and what do you know they are booked! I literally cried on the phone to the appt nurse. She told me "but we have one for X-day (insert date that makes it cd15)." And I had to tell her that is 4 days to late because it HAS to be done cd 9-11. She told me "well how about next month" and I burst into sobs again. I get really emotional at this time of the month can you tell? The receptionist was very nice though, she took pity on me and called around for me. There is ONE appt left for cd9 at a different place and she had them hold that spot for me. This clinic is about 17 miles from home instead of 5 but who the hell cares!

Then my devastating news came. Kaiser charges 1,050 dollars for the HSG! I nearly started crying again, I was in shock. I had heard it was costly but most people's cost them 600-800 dollars, many even less than that. I called R and he told me without dipping into the house/make a baby fund we couldn't do it so we would simply dip into that fund. I cried buckets more tears wishing this could be easy. Wishing for some end to this and then told him "fine".

So it is settled will take 1,050 out of our "down payment/baby" fund and use it for the HSG. I am also going to call the RE clinic we are going to use and see what happens if I do it through them or their lab. The worst they can say is it would be more and I simply keep my appt with Kaiser. Best case is that it costs WAY less with them and we wait one more month and do it through them, either way I will survive.

Thank you for all of you who responded to the rude 'anonymous' comment left on my blog. You did a much better job explaining everything than I did.

SHE SHOWED!

I can't believe that AF showed today! I am so excited, so happy and so...... relieved. The last two days were hard but today is much better. Now that AF is here I feel about 1,000X better. R and I are discussing what to do now since I can't do SHG, or HSG this month. And I may not even O this month. We need to decide if I should chart or not. I'll up date again tomorrow.

For those who thought of me, emailed, called, sent prayers or left comments THANK YOU! I really couldn't do this without your support.