I need to follow up on my Jon and Kate plus 8 post. I had mentioned that over the summer a set of sextuplets had been born and none had made it. I was wrong. One did make it and while currently he looks healthy the long term effects of being a preemie have yet to be determined. There is a high likely hood this child will not have normal development. While that would prove my point that IF should be covered so people don't take risks like this. I am NOT a cold heartless B!tch so please pray that he is okay and a lucky little boy and does not have any mental delays.
Next follow up still has to do with the Jon and Kate post. If you are reading this and going through IF I URGE you to talk with your husband about selective reduction. No one wants to talk about it but we all need to. I hope none of us ever has to make that choice but the reality is that some IF patients do have to make that choice and it is good to have a little info and an idea of where each of you stand on the idea BEFORE it is a life growing inside you. I am now steeping down from the soapbox.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Getting love from my Nesties
I have been really jealous lately on my local board of all the BFPs and since I have 'friends' on that board I have refused to leave. I also refuse to let IF determine what I do. Today I was feeling really down because we have had a BUNCH of BFPs from people on their 1st or 2nd cycle as well as people who have just thrown caution to the wind. I wouldn't wish IF on anyone but would it be so hard for people not to say "My DH has supper swimmers" when they get pg on the first try.
Anyway this all leads up to a post about "whose next" on the local baby board, all the mama's start saying all these people who have 1 or 2yr olds. And no one wanted it to be them. So I threw my hat in the ring and posted "Asking for baby dust" here is what happened:
http://talk.thenestbaby.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=37536223
I knew there was a reason I love my local girls!
Anyway this all leads up to a post about "whose next" on the local baby board, all the mama's start saying all these people who have 1 or 2yr olds. And no one wanted it to be them. So I threw my hat in the ring and posted "Asking for baby dust" here is what happened:
http://talk.thenestbaby.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=37536223
I knew there was a reason I love my local girls!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Jon and Kate plus 8
There are few shows on TV about IF that piss me off more than this one. Yes I think that PP has done an awful job of showing the IF side of things, and that HBO show about sex has a couple that are just mean to each other and undergoing IF treatments. But Jon and Katie take the cake for me.
My first grip is that they did IUIs not IVF yet everyone I talk to, that doesn’t suffer from IF, seems to think they did IVF. This is simply not true people! High order multiples are almost non existent in IVF couples because no RE in their right mind put that many back. Sure triplets happen in IVF because sometimes one cell will split and form identical twins and other times 3 are put back and all stick. Hell I know RARE occasions when they put back 4 but not 6! Nope no respectable RE would put back in 6 or more! And the average they put back in is two. Yup two!
Second grip about the show: The fact that all six made it is a miracle! If you watch the show closely she actauly had 7 originally but one died before the end of the first tri. But still the fact that 6 grew inside her for as long as they did and then came out and survived those first few months is a miricale. If you followed the news this summer you will remember that two sets of sextuplets were born. Both sets were VERY premature and sadly none of them survived. I have no idea what the chances of a women giving birth to 6 babies at once are and having them ALL survive is but let me tell you it is RARE. There is a reason they have a TV show about it!
Third grip: This actually isn’t about the show at all it is about medical insurance. I have never been able to run the numbers but since I have a background in policy analysis I can pretty much guess with certainty that covering IVF would be cheaper than dealing with the HOM that a result of IUIs. IUIs are more likely to be covered by insurance than IVF and yet there is a higher risk of HOM with them which can cost thousands and thousands of dollars to treat because of long NICU periods and developmental delays that are common with HOM that are premies. It would make more since to cover the IVF which are more likely to work and succeed in healthy viable pg with little/no risk of HOM.
I am going to get off my soapbox now.
My first grip is that they did IUIs not IVF yet everyone I talk to, that doesn’t suffer from IF, seems to think they did IVF. This is simply not true people! High order multiples are almost non existent in IVF couples because no RE in their right mind put that many back. Sure triplets happen in IVF because sometimes one cell will split and form identical twins and other times 3 are put back and all stick. Hell I know RARE occasions when they put back 4 but not 6! Nope no respectable RE would put back in 6 or more! And the average they put back in is two. Yup two!
Second grip about the show: The fact that all six made it is a miracle! If you watch the show closely she actauly had 7 originally but one died before the end of the first tri. But still the fact that 6 grew inside her for as long as they did and then came out and survived those first few months is a miricale. If you followed the news this summer you will remember that two sets of sextuplets were born. Both sets were VERY premature and sadly none of them survived. I have no idea what the chances of a women giving birth to 6 babies at once are and having them ALL survive is but let me tell you it is RARE. There is a reason they have a TV show about it!
Third grip: This actually isn’t about the show at all it is about medical insurance. I have never been able to run the numbers but since I have a background in policy analysis I can pretty much guess with certainty that covering IVF would be cheaper than dealing with the HOM that a result of IUIs. IUIs are more likely to be covered by insurance than IVF and yet there is a higher risk of HOM with them which can cost thousands and thousands of dollars to treat because of long NICU periods and developmental delays that are common with HOM that are premies. It would make more since to cover the IVF which are more likely to work and succeed in healthy viable pg with little/no risk of HOM.
I am going to get off my soapbox now.
Fear
Shhh Don’t tell R but I am seriously freaking out about his SA. I know that if the issue is him it isn’t a big deal. We will do IUI or IVF and get pg that way, but still I am freaking out. Forget for a moment that NOTHING is covered for us. Forget that he would REFUSE to tell his family and that they won’t shut up about us having kids. Forget that we are going to have to move AGAIN in February and that I had wanted to start grad school next year. Forget it all because right now my biggest fear is that if the issue does lie in his body, that our marriage will be over. Not because of the way I will feel but because for R his man hood is directly linked to reproduction capability.
A lot of men are like R in this way and I have never understood it. How can being a man be wrapped up in such a small issue. But for R it is. If he isn’t 100% normal I have a feeling he will have a massive breakdown. And I am not sure how to handle that.
R has always been the rock in our relationship. That isn’t to say I don’t comfort him when he is blue or upset about life or work, but it does mean I have far less experience than he does in dealing with him being really upset. R gets upset but in manifests differently in him than it does in me. When he gets upset he has no idea what bothers him, he doesn’t want to talk about it or think about it or deal with it in any way. He will lock himself in his room and ignore me until I bully him out. Then he gets mad, he will blame something in our relationship for the way he has been acting. The relationship is in fact fine, but he is having difficulty processing everything bothering him so he picks what ever about the relationship that is irritating and goes after it. He won’t yell but will get so melancholy you would think I had killed the cat.
The once we have fought for awhile he will calm down and in a day or two he will be ready to talk. He still won’t know what bothered him in the first place but he will be open to talking about what it might have been. Even after I have clearly identified what was bothering him he still won’t fully admit it. But non-verbally he confirms it. We will talk and talk and talk until I think we might have made an ounce of progress and then his wall breaks and he lets it ALL out. ALL of it. And by all of it I mean every little bit of it and then some. Anything that aggravated him in the last year will come out. I have learned that through this the best thing to do is accept what he is saying and shut up. Once he is through he is fine. He becomes him old self again and we are okay.
I have tried in the last few years to get R to find a new way to cope, but I can’t seem to change his old ways. The hardest part of this for me is how long it takes. Last time it took about two weeks and sometimes he is like that for a month. I am not sure I can be his rock for a month about IF, but then again he has been mine for a while.
Still I really hope the issue isn’t him but we both have a sneaking feeling it is and will good reason too, but that is a whole different post.
A lot of men are like R in this way and I have never understood it. How can being a man be wrapped up in such a small issue. But for R it is. If he isn’t 100% normal I have a feeling he will have a massive breakdown. And I am not sure how to handle that.
R has always been the rock in our relationship. That isn’t to say I don’t comfort him when he is blue or upset about life or work, but it does mean I have far less experience than he does in dealing with him being really upset. R gets upset but in manifests differently in him than it does in me. When he gets upset he has no idea what bothers him, he doesn’t want to talk about it or think about it or deal with it in any way. He will lock himself in his room and ignore me until I bully him out. Then he gets mad, he will blame something in our relationship for the way he has been acting. The relationship is in fact fine, but he is having difficulty processing everything bothering him so he picks what ever about the relationship that is irritating and goes after it. He won’t yell but will get so melancholy you would think I had killed the cat.
The once we have fought for awhile he will calm down and in a day or two he will be ready to talk. He still won’t know what bothered him in the first place but he will be open to talking about what it might have been. Even after I have clearly identified what was bothering him he still won’t fully admit it. But non-verbally he confirms it. We will talk and talk and talk until I think we might have made an ounce of progress and then his wall breaks and he lets it ALL out. ALL of it. And by all of it I mean every little bit of it and then some. Anything that aggravated him in the last year will come out. I have learned that through this the best thing to do is accept what he is saying and shut up. Once he is through he is fine. He becomes him old self again and we are okay.
I have tried in the last few years to get R to find a new way to cope, but I can’t seem to change his old ways. The hardest part of this for me is how long it takes. Last time it took about two weeks and sometimes he is like that for a month. I am not sure I can be his rock for a month about IF, but then again he has been mine for a while.
Still I really hope the issue isn’t him but we both have a sneaking feeling it is and will good reason too, but that is a whole different post.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Happy Appointment
I am happy! Very very happy! I got to see a dr, Dr. G, I trusted today who went over my latest blood work and the old stuff as well as did an ultrasound. She told me "it isn't PCOS, not even a mild form" I didn't believe her at first but after we talked and I thought about it now I do. She didn't strong hand me about it she explained the results and we went over the charts I brought from the fertitlityplus website and showed me why I had been confused. SOOOOOOO much better than my old Dr. She also agreed that clomid should be monitored AND have an HSG BEFORE hand. Ladies, I think I am in love. Here is the problem, she isn't an RE. So she had to give me the name of one and a referral. She told me when they call I can set an appt then, or tell them I want to wait. The ball is now completely in R and my court and it feels goooood.
Her recommendation is not only a college but also a friend of hers and she says they have similar personalities. She also isn't going to make me go to the RE/IF 'class' Kaiser has. I am thrilled about that since K, girl from thenest and a t-ttcer, said that is was awful and boring and that she hated it. I still might go but at least now I know I don't have to fit it into my long list of things to do by the end of December. My dr said I seemed to know my shit and I have to thank all of YOU for that. So if you are reading this and frequent the t-ttc board on thenest. THANK YOU.
Dr G also said that my months without cycles don't count since there is no way to know if I actually ovulated so her recommendation is that I wait a few more months, as long as the SA comes back normal, before seeing the RE. I feel okay about that idea because I still want to wait till January to see the RE but I don't want to wait much longer than that.
Now I just have to get R to do the SA! Wish me luck!
Her recommendation is not only a college but also a friend of hers and she says they have similar personalities. She also isn't going to make me go to the RE/IF 'class' Kaiser has. I am thrilled about that since K, girl from thenest and a t-ttcer, said that is was awful and boring and that she hated it. I still might go but at least now I know I don't have to fit it into my long list of things to do by the end of December. My dr said I seemed to know my shit and I have to thank all of YOU for that. So if you are reading this and frequent the t-ttc board on thenest. THANK YOU.
Dr G also said that my months without cycles don't count since there is no way to know if I actually ovulated so her recommendation is that I wait a few more months, as long as the SA comes back normal, before seeing the RE. I feel okay about that idea because I still want to wait till January to see the RE but I don't want to wait much longer than that.
Now I just have to get R to do the SA! Wish me luck!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Day two of Diet, 13cd and I am getting sick
It is day two of my diet and today went well. Glass of milk and yogurt in the am. A salad on a slice of bread for lunch- yes the bread is a carb. I am not perfect you know, a scoop of peanut butter for a snack- I love PB and love this diet for letting me have it, and for dinner chicken, peas and squash. A really good day for me. Awesome even if you consider that I am getting sick and the one thing I ALWAYS want when I get a cold is ice cream.
I don't know why but this winter my immune system must be really weak. I have already had a virus in my tummy which made me sick all night and kept me in bed for a few days. Now I have this 'thing'. So far I have had some post nasal drip in my throat and now it feels as if someone took a baby bottle cleaner and cleaned my throat. It is painful, raw and burning and it sucks. Since starting this post I have had a Popsicle too and even that hasn't helped. Okay maybe it did a little. Either way I hate being sick and being on a diet. I am no good at diet and exercise while sick. I have a feeling this could be a short diet....
R and I are doing fine again. We have gotten in a few fights this week but nothing our marriage can't handle. It is hard to tell if our issues are us or the IF sometimes, but right now I am leaning toward the IF. We are still considering doing therapy next year whether or not we are pg by then. Our marriage and communication style needs it.
I am Oing today or tomorrow and have my 2nd opinion Dr appt tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I don't know why but this winter my immune system must be really weak. I have already had a virus in my tummy which made me sick all night and kept me in bed for a few days. Now I have this 'thing'. So far I have had some post nasal drip in my throat and now it feels as if someone took a baby bottle cleaner and cleaned my throat. It is painful, raw and burning and it sucks. Since starting this post I have had a Popsicle too and even that hasn't helped. Okay maybe it did a little. Either way I hate being sick and being on a diet. I am no good at diet and exercise while sick. I have a feeling this could be a short diet....
R and I are doing fine again. We have gotten in a few fights this week but nothing our marriage can't handle. It is hard to tell if our issues are us or the IF sometimes, but right now I am leaning toward the IF. We are still considering doing therapy next year whether or not we are pg by then. Our marriage and communication style needs it.
I am Oing today or tomorrow and have my 2nd opinion Dr appt tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Day after Turkey-lurky Day
It is Black Friday and this morning I shopped, a lot. I didn't get many other gifts but I did get a lot of stuff for myself. There is little to update at this time about t-ttc. My apt is on Monday for my nd opinion and then I have a consult with insurance. I am dreading it but also looking forward to it. I am also starting back on my low/carb free diet in the am. UGG. I am definitely NOT looking forward to it. So if this next week I seem food obsessed please understand. Lack of sugar/carbs makes me hate life, but my body needs to do this, so I will.
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