Thursday, January 15, 2009
Who wants pictures???
R and I took Riley to JC Penny to get photos done last weekend. It went well and our little guy was so good for the camera, those are my genes because R hates getting his photo taken. Here are a few of my favorite ones.
Night is day and day is night
As a child my mom told me a lot how as a newborn when I would wake up in the middle of the night she would put me in the car seat and drive around town to get me back to sleep. I never thought I would be doing the same thing!
When good friends of ours A and S bought their son a crib rocker and A would wear their son in the Moby so they could get more sleep, I wanted to roll my eyes at them. Holding a sleeping baby, I thought to myself, I won't ever do that. Yesterday Riley napped in my baby Katan wrap.
Sleep has become the precious commodity that R and I trade. He takes Riley at 1 am when he has been getting up and staying up for up to 3 hours the last few nights, and I do all the changes and feeds by myself.
This week Riley has gotten his days and nights mixed up. Thus he is VERY cranky durring the day and awake at night and in the early am. It has been really hard on both R and I and we have been quite grouchy and short with each other. Last night I decided that if Riley was going to wake up and stay up that then he and I would go for a drive to get him back to sleep. His wakeful periods at night were causing very fussy LONG days, and I knew I couldn't take another day where he had to be held while he slept. The drive worked and so far today he has been a happy baby, and is once again sleeping in the bouncer. Ya! I am hopeful that tonight will be better, but if he does demand to be awake at night then into the car we will go. Wish us luck!
When good friends of ours A and S bought their son a crib rocker and A would wear their son in the Moby so they could get more sleep, I wanted to roll my eyes at them. Holding a sleeping baby, I thought to myself, I won't ever do that. Yesterday Riley napped in my baby Katan wrap.
Sleep has become the precious commodity that R and I trade. He takes Riley at 1 am when he has been getting up and staying up for up to 3 hours the last few nights, and I do all the changes and feeds by myself.
This week Riley has gotten his days and nights mixed up. Thus he is VERY cranky durring the day and awake at night and in the early am. It has been really hard on both R and I and we have been quite grouchy and short with each other. Last night I decided that if Riley was going to wake up and stay up that then he and I would go for a drive to get him back to sleep. His wakeful periods at night were causing very fussy LONG days, and I knew I couldn't take another day where he had to be held while he slept. The drive worked and so far today he has been a happy baby, and is once again sleeping in the bouncer. Ya! I am hopeful that tonight will be better, but if he does demand to be awake at night then into the car we will go. Wish us luck!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Birth Story
I finally wrote my birth story! Here it is:
Short Story:
Water broke unexpectedly 16 hours after my version to flip baby from breech position. He did flip during the version and thus we tried to continue with our unmediated birth plan. However the cards were stacked against us because at 36 weeks 1 day my cervix was shut tight and not effaced at all, and I didn't have any contractions on my own. We ended up with every medical intervention and in the end I had a c-section.
I have this moment right before the c-section where I realize that Riley and my body know it is too early to be born. My body is doing what it thinks is best for the baby and trying to keep him inside. I find a peaceful place with needing the c-section. I may need help getting pg, I may need help getting the baby out, but I grow healthy babies. This becomes my mantra, and has stayed my mantra about my reproductive health.
Funny thing about my labor and delivery, NOTHING went the way I wanted it till my c-section. Because he was breech I had thought a lot about how I wanted the c-section to go if I needed it. I had a list of requests for the nurses and Dr, in the case of a c-section. I got EVERYTHING on my list during my c-section. Riley wasn't ever taken out of the room, I didn't have my arms tied down, I breast feed with in 30 minutes and so much more. I didn't get the birth I wanted but I got the best c-section!
Long story:
First the version:
The night before my version I didn't sleep well. I couldn't eat after midnight and because I was pg and thus hungry all the time I woke up at 4 am starving and didn't get back to sleep.
At 9 am we went into the DR. They monitored me on an NST machine and Riley looked great. He was doing well but they needed him to move a little more so the nurse put this buzzer to my belly. It didn't hurt at all just scared Riley into moving more. My Dr ended up needing to use this same buzzer during the version and I am so glad I got to feel it before hand otherwise I might have tensed up when we had the version.
With the NST over the DR came in and we checked fluid levels, mine were great. We also checked on cord position and where my placenta was, both looked good. They gave me the shot to relax my uterus and after 3 minutes I still didn't feel the heart pounding sensation they said I would. They decided to start the procedure and tipped me back so that my head was below my hips.
I had been hoping that DH could hold my hand through this but he couldn't, he stood to the side while the Dr and the nurse put their hands on my belly and turned him. It did hurt but only as much as Riley trying to turn on his own. The Dr got him almost completely flipped but Riley's leg was stuck, they used the buzzer on him and he pulled it out and flipped the rest of the way!
First words out of my mouth were "Good Job Riley!" I had known he could flip and was right about something being stuck. At this same moment my heart began to race, the drug they had given me kicked into full effect AFTER the procedure! I was so happy that I didn't care. Riley and I were monitored again for about 20-30 minutes. After that we were let go, and told to go walk to help him settle into my pelvis.
It was uneventful till...16 hours later at 3:45 am my water broke.
BIRTH STORY
3:45 am Dec 6th I woke up to what I thought was just a little unine leaking out. I had yet to have this happen in pg, but I figured the new position of the baby was causing pressure in new areas. I went to the bathroom and LOTS of liquid came out. I started to wonder if this was my water breaking, but told myself I was only 36 weeks and thus it couldn't be.RIGHT? I went back to bed and as I layed down more liquid came out, this time I woke up Ryon. I still wasn't sure it was my water breaking because when I stood and did a kegel it would stop. Ryon woke up and instead it was pee. I came to bed again and the same thing happened. Now I knew it was my water and I began to panic. Our Dr had warned us Riley could turn back on his own with out me knowing it. I got out the Doppler (yes I have my own) and found the heartbeat down below my belly button, a good sign that he was still head down. The week before I had had many dreams about a prolapsed cord, so while Ryon called the hospital I convinced myself that Riley was okay.
Ryon called Kaiser Walnut Creek and they were full with people waiting in triage. We had to go out to Antioch! This would be a 45 minute drive even at this time of night. I hadn't yet packed my hospital bag, but grabbed my camera and extra set of batteries and off we went to get my mom.
On the car ride to the hospital I continued to gush water. I couldn't believe how much water there was! I started to go into denial about what was happening. I must have said over 100 time "but I have 4 more weeks left"
We got to the hospital and I was quickly checked in. They strapped me to the monitor and both baby and I were fine although I wasn't having any contractions. Riley was still head down! When they told me they were admitting me I asked them to make sure my water really had broken. The nurse assured me it had but ran the test anyway. It was +, my water had broken. Again I told everyone that this couldn't be happening, I wasn't ready and at 36 weeks gestation neither was he.
After I got settled in my room Ryon and I walked the halls. Because I hadn't had a GBS test done and my water had broken I needed the antibiotics, we called my IV pole my pole of power. We walked and walked and walked and walked for 3 hours. At 6am I needed a nap, Ryon mom and I all tried to sleep.
At 8 am I got up and walked more. Nothing helped start my contractions and by 10 am I knew we would need the pit. I was still determined to go pain med free, but needed some time to let it sink in that Riley was coming, whether I was ready or not. From 10 am to noon when we started the pit I visualized my ideal birth over and over and over again. I tried to emotionally come to terms with the reality that I would be having a pre-term baby and losing 4 weeks of pg. I wondered if I had enjoyed it enough, if I had cherished all the moments of him growing inside me. Eventually I felt like I had come enough to terms to start the pit.
1ish maybe 2 We started the pit, and by 4 pm I was breathing trough the contractions. I would get though them one at a time. Ryon and my mom were amazing coaches giving me all the had to help me through. I needed a lot of help, breathing through them. Riley tolerated the contractions beautifully but we had a really hard time keeping him on the monitor. Since I was on Pit I had to be on the monitor all the time. Emotionally I was okay with this because fetal death was such a HUGE fear of mine this whole time.
I labored till 8pm before they placed the internal monitor. I was not happy about this. I was so worried it would hurt him. This may have been my hardest concession in labor because it was something that I knew could cause HIM pain.
Some time around 10 pm I get checked, I am 4cm. I want the epidural but hold out till 12:30 when I get checked again and am still 4 cm, I break down and get the epidural. Emotional I am exased, I haven't slept since my water broke and the day before had little sleep due to concerns over the aversion. The epidural man is really nice and doesn't make Ryon or mom leave the room. I tell my mom how sorry I am for letting her down, for letting myself down. I really wanted and tried to go with out it but couldn't. Everyone tell me how strong I am and how proud they are, but I still feel very defeated. My midwife holds me and the epidural doesn't hurt. I stay really really still during it just like they tell me too and everything goes well despite my fear of needles.
The epidural works and I try to rest mean while they bump the pit WAY up.
3am I am shaking during contractions and having to breath through them again. We turn the epidural up, still no help and the epidural has cause my blood pressure to plummet. Riley is still doing great, but they are concerned about me, so they give me meds to increase my BP. About an hour latter the contractions are causing the top of my
stomic to contract pulling me into a ball. I can't control it, no matter how hard I try. The midwife needs to see how strong my contractions are because on the monitor they aren't close or long enough but I can't tolerate an increase in Pit.
We get the monitor in and find that my contractions at quad peaking off the charts but only 40 seconds long. I am also still only 4 cm. I labor till 7 am when another check shows I am still 4 cm dilated. They can't turn up the pit, and I can't labor like this much longer, it is time to consider a c-section. My midwife assures me I did EVERYTHING I could to do this vaginally. I am very upset about the c-section but I also know in my heart that my body isn't ready to let the baby come out.
I have this moment where I realize that Riley and my body know it is too early to be born. My body is doing what it thinks is best for the baby and trying to keep him inside. I find a peaceful place with needing the c-section. I may need help getting pg, I may need help getting the baby out, but I grow healthy babies. This becomes my mantra, and has stayed my mantra about my reproductive health.
8:37am Riley is born. He is PINK! All the Drs and nurses comment about how pink he is, but it takes me a while to realize that this is a good thing. His Apgar scores are 7 and then 9. I am able to "hold" him within moments of birth. I kiss his whole body, and then he goes back to the warmer. He weighs 6 pounds 13 oz! I tell myself again my mantra. He is healthy and that is what matters most!
As I get put back together I have a little break down, and start asking all kinds of questions to the Drs. They have to give me a little something so that I shut up, but they only give me 1/8th of a dose so I won't forget anything.
Per my request Riley doesn't leave the c-section room, and when he does it is because I am going to recovery. They put him on my chest to go to recovery! I was getting my skin to skin bonding time less than 20 minutes after birth! Ya something finally went RIGHT!
In recovery Riley gets a bath with both of us there, I also learned to breast feed. Dallas went home and after an hour in recovery I get to go to the mom and baby side of things. We are now a family of THREE!
Funny thing about my labor and delivery, NOTHING went the way I wanted it till my c-section. Because he was breech I had thought alot about how I wanted the c-section to go if I needed it. I had a list of requests for the nurses and Dr, in the case of a c-section. I got EVERYTHING on my list during my c-section. Riley wasn't ever taken out of the room, I didn't have my arms tied down, I breast feed with in 30 minutes and so much more. I didn't get the birth I wanted but I got the best c-section!
After Birth Recovery
Ryon and I went home with Riley three days after birth and PPD hit me HARD the first night home but once the meds kicked in I have been doing much much better. C-section recovery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it DOES suck.
Short Story:
Water broke unexpectedly 16 hours after my version to flip baby from breech position. He did flip during the version and thus we tried to continue with our unmediated birth plan. However the cards were stacked against us because at 36 weeks 1 day my cervix was shut tight and not effaced at all, and I didn't have any contractions on my own. We ended up with every medical intervention and in the end I had a c-section.
I have this moment right before the c-section where I realize that Riley and my body know it is too early to be born. My body is doing what it thinks is best for the baby and trying to keep him inside. I find a peaceful place with needing the c-section. I may need help getting pg, I may need help getting the baby out, but I grow healthy babies. This becomes my mantra, and has stayed my mantra about my reproductive health.
Funny thing about my labor and delivery, NOTHING went the way I wanted it till my c-section. Because he was breech I had thought a lot about how I wanted the c-section to go if I needed it. I had a list of requests for the nurses and Dr, in the case of a c-section. I got EVERYTHING on my list during my c-section. Riley wasn't ever taken out of the room, I didn't have my arms tied down, I breast feed with in 30 minutes and so much more. I didn't get the birth I wanted but I got the best c-section!
Long story:
First the version:
The night before my version I didn't sleep well. I couldn't eat after midnight and because I was pg and thus hungry all the time I woke up at 4 am starving and didn't get back to sleep.
At 9 am we went into the DR. They monitored me on an NST machine and Riley looked great. He was doing well but they needed him to move a little more so the nurse put this buzzer to my belly. It didn't hurt at all just scared Riley into moving more. My Dr ended up needing to use this same buzzer during the version and I am so glad I got to feel it before hand otherwise I might have tensed up when we had the version.
With the NST over the DR came in and we checked fluid levels, mine were great. We also checked on cord position and where my placenta was, both looked good. They gave me the shot to relax my uterus and after 3 minutes I still didn't feel the heart pounding sensation they said I would. They decided to start the procedure and tipped me back so that my head was below my hips.
I had been hoping that DH could hold my hand through this but he couldn't, he stood to the side while the Dr and the nurse put their hands on my belly and turned him. It did hurt but only as much as Riley trying to turn on his own. The Dr got him almost completely flipped but Riley's leg was stuck, they used the buzzer on him and he pulled it out and flipped the rest of the way!
First words out of my mouth were "Good Job Riley!" I had known he could flip and was right about something being stuck. At this same moment my heart began to race, the drug they had given me kicked into full effect AFTER the procedure! I was so happy that I didn't care. Riley and I were monitored again for about 20-30 minutes. After that we were let go, and told to go walk to help him settle into my pelvis.
It was uneventful till...16 hours later at 3:45 am my water broke.
BIRTH STORY
3:45 am Dec 6th I woke up to what I thought was just a little unine leaking out. I had yet to have this happen in pg, but I figured the new position of the baby was causing pressure in new areas. I went to the bathroom and LOTS of liquid came out. I started to wonder if this was my water breaking, but told myself I was only 36 weeks and thus it couldn't be.RIGHT? I went back to bed and as I layed down more liquid came out, this time I woke up Ryon. I still wasn't sure it was my water breaking because when I stood and did a kegel it would stop. Ryon woke up and instead it was pee. I came to bed again and the same thing happened. Now I knew it was my water and I began to panic. Our Dr had warned us Riley could turn back on his own with out me knowing it. I got out the Doppler (yes I have my own) and found the heartbeat down below my belly button, a good sign that he was still head down. The week before I had had many dreams about a prolapsed cord, so while Ryon called the hospital I convinced myself that Riley was okay.
Ryon called Kaiser Walnut Creek and they were full with people waiting in triage. We had to go out to Antioch! This would be a 45 minute drive even at this time of night. I hadn't yet packed my hospital bag, but grabbed my camera and extra set of batteries and off we went to get my mom.
On the car ride to the hospital I continued to gush water. I couldn't believe how much water there was! I started to go into denial about what was happening. I must have said over 100 time "but I have 4 more weeks left"
We got to the hospital and I was quickly checked in. They strapped me to the monitor and both baby and I were fine although I wasn't having any contractions. Riley was still head down! When they told me they were admitting me I asked them to make sure my water really had broken. The nurse assured me it had but ran the test anyway. It was +, my water had broken. Again I told everyone that this couldn't be happening, I wasn't ready and at 36 weeks gestation neither was he.
After I got settled in my room Ryon and I walked the halls. Because I hadn't had a GBS test done and my water had broken I needed the antibiotics, we called my IV pole my pole of power. We walked and walked and walked and walked for 3 hours. At 6am I needed a nap, Ryon mom and I all tried to sleep.
At 8 am I got up and walked more. Nothing helped start my contractions and by 10 am I knew we would need the pit. I was still determined to go pain med free, but needed some time to let it sink in that Riley was coming, whether I was ready or not. From 10 am to noon when we started the pit I visualized my ideal birth over and over and over again. I tried to emotionally come to terms with the reality that I would be having a pre-term baby and losing 4 weeks of pg. I wondered if I had enjoyed it enough, if I had cherished all the moments of him growing inside me. Eventually I felt like I had come enough to terms to start the pit.
1ish maybe 2 We started the pit, and by 4 pm I was breathing trough the contractions. I would get though them one at a time. Ryon and my mom were amazing coaches giving me all the had to help me through. I needed a lot of help, breathing through them. Riley tolerated the contractions beautifully but we had a really hard time keeping him on the monitor. Since I was on Pit I had to be on the monitor all the time. Emotionally I was okay with this because fetal death was such a HUGE fear of mine this whole time.
I labored till 8pm before they placed the internal monitor. I was not happy about this. I was so worried it would hurt him. This may have been my hardest concession in labor because it was something that I knew could cause HIM pain.
Some time around 10 pm I get checked, I am 4cm. I want the epidural but hold out till 12:30 when I get checked again and am still 4 cm, I break down and get the epidural. Emotional I am exased, I haven't slept since my water broke and the day before had little sleep due to concerns over the aversion. The epidural man is really nice and doesn't make Ryon or mom leave the room. I tell my mom how sorry I am for letting her down, for letting myself down. I really wanted and tried to go with out it but couldn't. Everyone tell me how strong I am and how proud they are, but I still feel very defeated. My midwife holds me and the epidural doesn't hurt. I stay really really still during it just like they tell me too and everything goes well despite my fear of needles.
The epidural works and I try to rest mean while they bump the pit WAY up.
3am I am shaking during contractions and having to breath through them again. We turn the epidural up, still no help and the epidural has cause my blood pressure to plummet. Riley is still doing great, but they are concerned about me, so they give me meds to increase my BP. About an hour latter the contractions are causing the top of my
stomic to contract pulling me into a ball. I can't control it, no matter how hard I try. The midwife needs to see how strong my contractions are because on the monitor they aren't close or long enough but I can't tolerate an increase in Pit.
We get the monitor in and find that my contractions at quad peaking off the charts but only 40 seconds long. I am also still only 4 cm. I labor till 7 am when another check shows I am still 4 cm dilated. They can't turn up the pit, and I can't labor like this much longer, it is time to consider a c-section. My midwife assures me I did EVERYTHING I could to do this vaginally. I am very upset about the c-section but I also know in my heart that my body isn't ready to let the baby come out.
I have this moment where I realize that Riley and my body know it is too early to be born. My body is doing what it thinks is best for the baby and trying to keep him inside. I find a peaceful place with needing the c-section. I may need help getting pg, I may need help getting the baby out, but I grow healthy babies. This becomes my mantra, and has stayed my mantra about my reproductive health.
8:37am Riley is born. He is PINK! All the Drs and nurses comment about how pink he is, but it takes me a while to realize that this is a good thing. His Apgar scores are 7 and then 9. I am able to "hold" him within moments of birth. I kiss his whole body, and then he goes back to the warmer. He weighs 6 pounds 13 oz! I tell myself again my mantra. He is healthy and that is what matters most!
As I get put back together I have a little break down, and start asking all kinds of questions to the Drs. They have to give me a little something so that I shut up, but they only give me 1/8th of a dose so I won't forget anything.
Per my request Riley doesn't leave the c-section room, and when he does it is because I am going to recovery. They put him on my chest to go to recovery! I was getting my skin to skin bonding time less than 20 minutes after birth! Ya something finally went RIGHT!
In recovery Riley gets a bath with both of us there, I also learned to breast feed. Dallas went home and after an hour in recovery I get to go to the mom and baby side of things. We are now a family of THREE!
Funny thing about my labor and delivery, NOTHING went the way I wanted it till my c-section. Because he was breech I had thought alot about how I wanted the c-section to go if I needed it. I had a list of requests for the nurses and Dr, in the case of a c-section. I got EVERYTHING on my list during my c-section. Riley wasn't ever taken out of the room, I didn't have my arms tied down, I breast feed with in 30 minutes and so much more. I didn't get the birth I wanted but I got the best c-section!
After Birth Recovery
Ryon and I went home with Riley three days after birth and PPD hit me HARD the first night home but once the meds kicked in I have been doing much much better. C-section recovery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it DOES suck.
One Month Old
Wow how time flies....
Roo is now one month old and is growing so fast. I mean that both in the way all new moms mean it and because Roo has almost jumped off the growth chart. Newborns gain .5 an ounce to 2 ounces a day, Roo is doing 2ounces just about everyday, he is truly growing fast.
I have been breastfeeding almost this whole time. We did some formula in the hospital and for the first two days home, not from a bottle though we used a great system that let him nurse on me and get formula out of a tube. Breastfeeding is now going strong. I have a fast letdown which causes Roo to get a lot of air but we are finding ways to keep him from getting to much air. I will say it does sometimes hurt like hell, today he wanted to nurse for 2 hours and it just about killed me. I gave in and gave him the pacifier, and he went straight to sleep, poor little guy was just tired.
Being a new mom is wonderful. I truly love it! It does have hard days and hard nights but it is the most fulfilling job I have ever done, to bad it doesn't pay in real US currency or come with health benefits. I always thought I would suffer through the first few weeks of my child's life. Sleepless nights and a small being with countless needs, and the inability to express him self did sound like a dream job to me, but it is. Don't get me wrong PPD and PPA hit me hard on day 3 but after the meds kicked in and now since we have adjusted them further, I am doing great!
It really is everything I wanted it to be, being a mom. I love my son. I look at him and am so thankful he is in my life, and that we are both healthy. His smiles even though it is just from gas makes my heart skip beats. I am very much looking forward to the future and all that it brings but also really enjoying the time right now.
Roo is now one month old and is growing so fast. I mean that both in the way all new moms mean it and because Roo has almost jumped off the growth chart. Newborns gain .5 an ounce to 2 ounces a day, Roo is doing 2ounces just about everyday, he is truly growing fast.
I have been breastfeeding almost this whole time. We did some formula in the hospital and for the first two days home, not from a bottle though we used a great system that let him nurse on me and get formula out of a tube. Breastfeeding is now going strong. I have a fast letdown which causes Roo to get a lot of air but we are finding ways to keep him from getting to much air. I will say it does sometimes hurt like hell, today he wanted to nurse for 2 hours and it just about killed me. I gave in and gave him the pacifier, and he went straight to sleep, poor little guy was just tired.
Being a new mom is wonderful. I truly love it! It does have hard days and hard nights but it is the most fulfilling job I have ever done, to bad it doesn't pay in real US currency or come with health benefits. I always thought I would suffer through the first few weeks of my child's life. Sleepless nights and a small being with countless needs, and the inability to express him self did sound like a dream job to me, but it is. Don't get me wrong PPD and PPA hit me hard on day 3 but after the meds kicked in and now since we have adjusted them further, I am doing great!
It really is everything I wanted it to be, being a mom. I love my son. I look at him and am so thankful he is in my life, and that we are both healthy. His smiles even though it is just from gas makes my heart skip beats. I am very much looking forward to the future and all that it brings but also really enjoying the time right now.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
He is HERE!
OMG sorry this is so late!
Riley Ethan W. or REW made his way into the world on Dec 7thth. He was born via c-section (yep you read that right), at 8:37 am. I was only 36w2d pg at the time but he was born healthy and didn't need any help breathing.
His stats:
6lbs 13 oz
19.5 inches long
And a picture:
Riley Ethan W. or REW made his way into the world on Dec 7thth. He was born via c-section (yep you read that right), at 8:37 am. I was only 36w2d pg at the time but he was born healthy and didn't need any help breathing.
His stats:
6lbs 13 oz
19.5 inches long
And a picture:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Going back on the pill
Not BC pill, anti-depression pills. I have thought a LOT about my depression and last year's (see any post in Feb/March) break down. Family and friends really dropped the ball on that one and so did I. I really should have been on drugs then.
When we found out Roo was breech I spent the weekend crying, I wasn't consolable about 30% of the time. I knew that weekend that no matter how Roo comes out, I would need the drugs as soon as he does. Actually I think it might be wise to take them starting now since it can take a while to get dosage right but I really want to make it through the pg drug free.
So for the last few weeks I have been slowly mentally preparing myself that I will be taking them. R and I talked about it a little and sadly he seemed hesitant to agree at first. The next day was a Sunday I spent alone and I cried all day again. He came home, I was a complete emotional mess and it clicked for him. I need to be back on my meds. He is 100% supportive now.
I don't think I would have come to this realization without the help and support of my bestest friend Shannon. Love you girl! She really helped me see the light, she would probably be the only person other than me to argue I should go back on the meds now and she is right. I know she is right but I am not ready to really admit that anywhere but here.
So that is my newest confession, if you know me IRL please don't bring this up, unless I do first. It isn't something I really want to talk about all that much. I will be bringing it up on my own with each of you I am sure.
When we found out Roo was breech I spent the weekend crying, I wasn't consolable about 30% of the time. I knew that weekend that no matter how Roo comes out, I would need the drugs as soon as he does. Actually I think it might be wise to take them starting now since it can take a while to get dosage right but I really want to make it through the pg drug free.
So for the last few weeks I have been slowly mentally preparing myself that I will be taking them. R and I talked about it a little and sadly he seemed hesitant to agree at first. The next day was a Sunday I spent alone and I cried all day again. He came home, I was a complete emotional mess and it clicked for him. I need to be back on my meds. He is 100% supportive now.
I don't think I would have come to this realization without the help and support of my bestest friend Shannon. Love you girl! She really helped me see the light, she would probably be the only person other than me to argue I should go back on the meds now and she is right. I know she is right but I am not ready to really admit that anywhere but here.
So that is my newest confession, if you know me IRL please don't bring this up, unless I do first. It isn't something I really want to talk about all that much. I will be bringing it up on my own with each of you I am sure.
Still here
Yes yes yes, I am a bad blogger. Oh well spank me later. Here is an update:
Roo is breech! Yes bye bye natural birth unless he decides to turn. I am 35 weeks now and we found out at 32 weeks he was breech. To say I was upset would be an understatement. Then someone who just had a breech baby wrote "If you had told me while going through IF that I would have a baby, but need a c-section and then face breastfeeding issues, I would have been thrilled". That put it all into perspective for me, well that and thinking about how lucky I am that Roo is otherwise healthy.
After doing all kinds of natural turning techniques including, pressure points, swimming, hand stands, hanging from my feet on an inversion table, crawling with my butt in the air, and chiropractic care our next step is a manual outside aversion. The procedure has risks which is why we tried everything else first, but the risk is small and doesn't include fetal death. Okay actually there were two cases of fetal death associated with the procedure, both happened in Zimbabwe, with no fetal monitoring. I am in the USA, under the care of a Dr who does 4-5 of these a week and will have extensive monitoring. The risk in our situation is that Roo wouldn't tolerate the procedure well and thus need to come out ASAP. This is why we haven't shared that he is breech with R's family and also why we are waiting till 36 weeks to attempt it.
The procedure is about 60% effective, with about 2% of those babies then reversing back to breech position. The possibility that Roo doesn't tolerate the procedure is .5%. R and I thought a lot about not doing the aversion, I spoke with people who have had successful ones and unsuccessful ones and through those conversations we decided we would go forward with the procedure.
Of course if Roo turns on his own by Friday then I won't need the procedure but at this point it seems highly unlikely. Feel free to send me good vibes, positive thoughts and turning dust for Friday, and as always we take prayers too.
As for everything else, well it is all just fine. My heartburn was God awful last week, it had been getting worse the last two months. I cried to my Dr to prescribe me something, but he wouldn't and so I am on Z.anta.c over the counter. It has been two days and I feel 100% better! I am so relieved!
I promise to update more regularly. Also for those waiting on Roo's blog invatations, you will need to wait a little longer.
Roo is breech! Yes bye bye natural birth unless he decides to turn. I am 35 weeks now and we found out at 32 weeks he was breech. To say I was upset would be an understatement. Then someone who just had a breech baby wrote "If you had told me while going through IF that I would have a baby, but need a c-section and then face breastfeeding issues, I would have been thrilled". That put it all into perspective for me, well that and thinking about how lucky I am that Roo is otherwise healthy.
After doing all kinds of natural turning techniques including, pressure points, swimming, hand stands, hanging from my feet on an inversion table, crawling with my butt in the air, and chiropractic care our next step is a manual outside aversion. The procedure has risks which is why we tried everything else first, but the risk is small and doesn't include fetal death. Okay actually there were two cases of fetal death associated with the procedure, both happened in Zimbabwe, with no fetal monitoring. I am in the USA, under the care of a Dr who does 4-5 of these a week and will have extensive monitoring. The risk in our situation is that Roo wouldn't tolerate the procedure well and thus need to come out ASAP. This is why we haven't shared that he is breech with R's family and also why we are waiting till 36 weeks to attempt it.
The procedure is about 60% effective, with about 2% of those babies then reversing back to breech position. The possibility that Roo doesn't tolerate the procedure is .5%. R and I thought a lot about not doing the aversion, I spoke with people who have had successful ones and unsuccessful ones and through those conversations we decided we would go forward with the procedure.
Of course if Roo turns on his own by Friday then I won't need the procedure but at this point it seems highly unlikely. Feel free to send me good vibes, positive thoughts and turning dust for Friday, and as always we take prayers too.
As for everything else, well it is all just fine. My heartburn was God awful last week, it had been getting worse the last two months. I cried to my Dr to prescribe me something, but he wouldn't and so I am on Z.anta.c over the counter. It has been two days and I feel 100% better! I am so relieved!
I promise to update more regularly. Also for those waiting on Roo's blog invatations, you will need to wait a little longer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
